This post discusses mental health and may be triggering for some readers.
I think I was always Bipolar. The science says I have a mood disorder that only manifests in adolesce or later, but I as far as I can remember the world has always been a bright blinding colours and fathomless darkness. Indescribable happiness and unreasonable sadness. Deafening silence and suffocating noise.
Growing up I was called me gifted. My ability to stay up all night writing long winded stories and planning a future that was so big I was destined to feel like I failed myself in the end was simply ridden of as being more intellectual and creative than other people my age. I guess we just sort looked over the fact had to ask my mother if a memory was real or if it was a dream until I was 17.
Now I see those moments for what they were, the addictive mania that now colours my life starting to take over. My future enemy has been labelled as a gift for the largest part of my life.
Watch: Kanye West on his mental health. Post continues below.
Society values the part of me than can stay up for 24 hours. The part of me that never stop moving, takes on three tasks at once, meets lofty goals and confidently applies for jobs I have no business applying for. I’m praised as being a driven person who’ll push myself until I break.