real life

“I grew up assuming that I would never get married, because marriage was for thin women."

“Thin girls get public proposals, like those dudes are winning a fucking prize. Fat chicks deserve that, too.’”

When writer Lindy West’s husband Aham proposed to her, there were paper banners, a romantic string duo and a room full of your family and friends.

When Lindy later asked Aham why he had chosen to propose to her in such a sweep-you-off-your-feet, romantic way, he said:

“One time when you were drunk you told me, ‘If you ever propose to me, don’t do it in the bullshit way that dudes usually treat fat girls. Like it’s a secret, or you’re just trying to keep me from leaving you. Thin girls get public proposals, like those dudes are winning a fucking prize. Fat chicks deserve that, too.’”

fat at my wedding
Image via Jenny Jimenez at

Damn straight.

As West recently wrote for The Guardian, being celebrated was important.I’ve dated men who relished me in private but refused to be seen with me on the street, or who told me, explicitly, that we had no serious future because they were afraid their friends would laugh at them.”

And that, is not good enough.

In an earlier piece for The Guardian, Lindy wrote, “I grew up assuming that I would never get married, because marriage was for thin women, the kind of women who deserved to be collected.”

But Lindy did get married, and her day was amazing.

It wasn’t flawless. It never is. Things went wrong. Things fell over. She got her period. But none of it mattered.

“It was a gorgeous, chaotic, loving, perfect day,” she said. “And I was fat as hell the whole time.”

With all the hard work that gets put into weddings, every single woman or man, no matter their shape, size, colour or creed, deserves to have an amazing day.

Lindy had some sage advice for any pending brides worried about their wedding day:

“Choose your rituals, but make them yours. If you want to look like a flower market ate fat Betty Draper and then barfed her up in the middle of a haunted forest (YEEEESSS!), great choice. If you want to get married to a burrito while wearing a barrel with suspenders, I’m cool with it. If you think the very concept of marriage is hot garbage, that’s legit. But regardless, remember that you absolutely do not have to “fix” your body, chase after “flattering”, be somebody’s dark secret, or beg for permission to be happy.”

The stunning professional photos from Lindy’s wedding were taken by Jenny Jimenez from

Lindy West is a Seattle-based writer, editor, and performer whose work focuses on pop culture, social justice, humor, and body image. She’s currently a culture writer for GQ Magazine and and a weekly columnist at the Guardian, as well as the founder and editor of I Believe You | It’s Not Your Fault, an advice blog for teens.

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