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"We're essentially two single parents": What life is like with two sets of twins under two.

“I am a fierce mother lion and I love them. But some moments are awful. This morning was awful. You feel like you’re drowning in mud.”

Megan and Jeremy Peters describe their life right now as “living in the trenches.” The couple live in Perth, Tasmania, isolated from family and with two sets of fraternal twins.

Georgia and Darcy were born 11 weeks ago. Hugo and Billie were born two years ago. It’s a lot.

Megan, 27, hasn’t had a second to herself since the little twins’ birth. There is always someone awake, sad or both. There’s always someone wanting her.

Side note: Bec Judd has spoken about her experience with twins. Post continues after video.

“My [little girl] twin doesn’t allow tandem feeding. She gets angry, so I have to do it separately. I get about an hour of sleep before the next twin wakes up,” she tells Mamamia.

“We had a really bad night with Georgia last night. She did sleep until 8am but Darcy was up at 6am. I had all of them in my bed.”

Megan doesn’t structure her days, mainly because it’s near impossible. It’s a game of literal tag team because as soon as one twin is down another is awake. It’s often 11am before she manages to get a slurp of coffee and a bite to eat for herself.

“I impress myself, I can breastfeed and spread a piece of toast,” Megan says of her multitasking.

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Megan's family live in WA, and Jeremy's parents are an hour and a half away. So they do it, largely, alone.

The hardest part, Megan says, is having bored toddlers. She spends her days diffusing fires. Fingers in makeup, followed by peeing on curtains, topped off with cinnamon upended on blankets.

"It's usually at this point I hit my limit and I get the big twins to Facetime their father. They talk to him and I can have a break," Megan says.

"He's wonderful I couldn't do it without him. He parents 24/7 even at work. That's how I get through the really sticky situations."

Jeremy, 34, gets home from work around 3pm, but Megan says that doesn't make the afternoon smoother.

"What happens is we have expectations on ourselves. He'll want to mow the lawn for instance, and then the big twins will get upset because they will want to be out there with him.

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"They get really intense at the end of the day, they've been bored and their dad is home. So it ramps up [the chaos]. I think you find your own groove when you're on your own, even if that groove is submitting to total chaos."

Jeremy peters
Jeremy often entertains the big kids when he is at home, so Megan can focus on the little twins. It's single parenting...but in the same house.

At night, the big twins aren't easy to get to sleep,  but they eventually fall around 8:30pm, and Megan and Jeremy finally collapse on the couch.

"We look at each other, and we could talk. But it's easier just to sit there and scroll and zone out. I know they say it's bad [to scroll]. But sometimes that's what you need - to sit in companionable silence."

Research explains parents of twins are are 50 per cent more likely to get divorced. The Peters joke, thanks to their circumstances, they're 100 per cent more likely.

"We say that to each other all the time during tense moments. The humour diffuses the situation, because it is hard on your relationship.

"We are essentially two single parents. He does the big twins and I do the little. Neither are a one person job. I do miss spending time with him."

Jeremy and Megan Peters.
Jeremy and Megan Peters.
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The Peters are looking forward to a year and a half down the track, that's when they think the fog will clear. For the moment, they are just hunkering down in the trenches.

"I feel like I am bad mum to all four of them. They are all so little. But I can't give them everything they need to be completely happy.

"They are all wildly different. The two big ones are chalk and cheese. They all have different needs. I am so out of my depth all the time."

The Peters had no idea this was what their life would look like when they realised they were pregnant a second time.

"I was excited. I thought - one baby - I got this, it'll be a breeze."

The sonographer was even joking along with the couple while preparing the ultrasound, saying, "imagine if you had another set of twins."

 

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38 weeks in vs 38 weeks out. Still can't decide if they're easier out than in ???? #cooked #twins #multiples

A post shared by bikes, babes & bread ???????? (@mepeters) on

"I just swore in my head," says Megan of the moment they found two heartbeats. "Not because of the twins, but because I had to be pregnant again [with twins]. I cried on and off for three weeks."

Both Megan's pregnancies were hard work. Her first set made it to 38 weeks and were both born 2.7kg. Her second set were 3kg and 3.4kg.

"I was massive... my body will never be the same."

For now, Megan and Jeremy's life is entirely about their babies.

"I feel like as a mother you always have to give disclaimers 'I love my children but...'"

Megan loves her children. Fiercely. But she is incredibly overwhelmed, has cabin fever, and at the moment - it's really, bloody, hard.

Multiple Birth Awareness Week will be raising awareness about families like the Peters from March 11th - 18th. 

By the way....have you checked out our new podcast The Baby Bubble? 

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