My husband and I wrote our own vows for our wedding. In mine, I didn’t say: “I take you for better or for worse,” but instead said: “We will confront challenges head on and we will overcome them as a team — big challenges, little challenges, difficult or easy,” and I meant it. I stood up in front of our friends and family and pledged myself to my husband for life and never allowed myself to believe that divorce was ever an option. When I wrote those vows, I didn’t realise how quickly those big challenges would come or how hard it would really be to face them.
We got married on April 4th and just over a month later, on May 13th, my husband was arrested for armed robbery of two pharmacies. He didn’t take any money — just pills (and he didn’t actually have a weapon). I knew that he had a prescription drug problem but had been clean for over three years (he got clean about six months before we started dating) and I thought he was still clean. I was livid that he broke the law. I was livid that he didn’t come to me for help, but he said he was worried I would leave him because three things I don’t tolerate are abuse, cheating, and drugs.
I was a criminal justice professional (I lost my job because of my husband’s arrest and conviction) and have a Master’s degree in criminal behavior. In four years of working with offenders, I have seen relationships survive prison but I have seen many more fall apart. If I had known that he was going to be arrested a month after our wedding (or at any point), I wouldn’t have married him. I love him, but love isn’t always enough. Less than nine months after he was arrested, and eleven months after we were married, my husband was sentenced to prison.
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Please do not trivialise what he did by stating he only took pills. I am a Pharmacist and my biggest fear is being held up. I studied for 5 years to become a Pharmacist (that's excluding any additional postgraduate studies I've done) and I love being able to help the community. I have a baby and a husband I must return to every day. Sometimes our drugs users are violent and I have been threatened, sworn at and had heavy medication thrown at me for no reason. I do my best to help everyone, including my drug addicts and users and it is not fair that I'm at risk of being put in a situation where I could be badly hurt.
I hope your husband gets continued to help to prevent relapse.
I don't think she meant it like that I think she meant that he didn't actually put a person in harms way because he broke in when no one was there & did so for pills not for money
In any case I feel you, I used to work in a service station, alone at night and it was truly terrifying especially after I realised that our security buzzers didn't work!
I'm surprised she only mentioned a concern regarding him relapsing once throughout the whole article - that would be my number fear and concern because in my experience addicts are addicts for life and hardly ever give up their vice completely....