kids

The most outrageous "mum lies" we've managed to get away with.

Every mum knows that getting through the day often sometimes requires you tell a few porky pies to the kids. If it’s any relief, Zoe Foster Blake is no different.

The beauty guru and author of the The Wrong Girl successfully convinced her son, Sonny, that bananas are the ultimate cinema snack.

Zoe took the toddler to the movies for the first time and revealed on Instagram she managed to pull a fast one on him.

“I am thrilled to report it was a success. He watched the whole dang thing! AND I tricked him into believing bananas are what you eat at the movies. What a win #mumfibz,” she told her followers in a comment.

Yup, getting a child to eat fruit over popcorn and choc tops is certainly a win in our books.

As it turns out, the parents of Mamamia office have also gotten away with some, ah, inventive fibs.

“I tell the kids they each have money in their bank accounts (I actually spent it, but have an elaborate IOU system for when I get around to opening them),” one admitted.

Of course there’s the old “when the ice cream truck is playing music it means there’s no ice cream left”, but one mum never has any money when that truck pulls around. Ever.

Another claims she “can’t remember” her password, and therefore can’t buy her kids the gems they need for their online games.

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I tell them that if they don’t go to school I will be thrown in jail and that if they fight in the car I will go to jail,” one mum said.

Speaking of parenting wins, check out the latest episode of our This Glorious Mess parenting podcast. (Post continues after audio.)

There’s also the sneaky ‘convince your child something ordinary is a gift’ trick: “My friend’s daughter was obsessed with grapes, so at Easter she would wrap up green grapes in sparkly egg wrappers. Worked a treat and she thought it was the best day ever.”

Or that fish isn’t really fish.

“My middle daughter hates fish because she hated fish (no reason really – I don’t think she even ever had one bite). So I called the white fish I served fishchicken and said it really fast. For years I served fishchicken. She ate it,” one mum admits.

As our young staffers can attest, these tricks do work. One was told cafes on the Gold Coast do not sell strawberry milkshakes -“just because my mum preferred chocolate milkshakes, and knew she’d have to finish mine off”.

Another said, “I’ve been subject to the ‘I don’t have my wallet’ line which is totally a lie.”

Watch: Those Two Girls present the parenting milestones that deserve a party. (Post continues after video.)

One was told every single ride at the shops was always broken – proving lies can really help you get out of any activity.

“When you are sick of watching the same movies or kids’ series. The TV isn’t working. Or the computer isn’t charged. Or you lost the DVD. (Yes, ancient times).”

There’s the inventive, then there’s the outright genius.

“My sister-in-law tells my nieces they’re having “lemonade” which is actually water with ice cubes in a fancy cup.”

We’re onto you, parents — you evil geniuses.

Go on – do you have any successful mum lies to share?

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