Everyone lied to me and I do not even slightly appreciate it.
Born in 1990, I fit squarely within the widely loathed and publicly ridiculed millennial generation, and in the words of our Messiah Kylie K. Jenner, I’m in the midst of “like, realising stuff”.
Yeah. You heard me.
You see, the generation/s before us told us a few white lies. They perpetuated a few… myths. They taught us things about work, technology, coffee, education and even illicit substances that proved to be entirely false.
And now, it’s time to address them.
1. “If you stopped drinking coffee and eating avocado on toast, you’d be able to afford a house.”
Just as we were reaching adulthood, everyone started yelling, “MAYBE YOU COULD BUY A HOUSE IF YOU STOPPED DRINKING SO MUCH COFFEE.”
Wow. Not sure what coffee ever did to literally anyone but okay.
I do not for a moment proclaim to be a finance expert, but with the average cost of a home in Sydney being over $1 million, you’d have to be drinking enough coffee to just about die in order to get anywhere near a house deposit.
But it wasn’t just coffee. Next, they came for our avocado.
Demographer Bernard Salt wrote in 2016 for The Australian that maybe if young people just stopped going to “hipster cafes” then they could afford a property.
“I have seen young people order smashed avocado with crumbled feta on five-grain toasted bread at $22 a pop and more,” he wrote. “I can afford to eat this for lunch because I am middle-aged and have raised my family. But how can young people afford to eat like this? Shouldn’t they be economising by eating at home? How often are they eating out? Twenty-two dollars several times a week could go towards a deposit on a house.”
Sir. “I saw a young person having breakfast once,” is not valid data collation.
Oh. Apparently Millennials are now using avocados to propose. Post continues below.