My darling wife,
Losing your love has been the hardest time of my life. Harder than losing family members, watching my parents divorce or even the toughest moments of my childhood.
In the beginning, our relationship was so full of love, fun, and energy. I miss always wanting to be with each other or telling each other everything that happened in our day.
Starting great careers, buying our first home, having our first overseas holiday and then getting engaged, all wonderful memories of a time were love conquered all. Our love. An overseas wedding do die for and then a honeymoon of a lifetime, life couldn’t get any better for us.
Listen: How to tell your kids you’re separating…
It wasn’t long into our lifelong commitment that things started to change, the joy and want to be near each other, was replaced by us spending more time at work than we had to.
Each time we moved, I hoped a new environment would bring us back together and it did for a while, but we soon reverted to our old habits and continued to drift apart.
Love and marriage was never meant to be easy, and now I sit here with a tear rolling down my cheek regretting years of not working on us and attempting to communicate how much I loved you and still do.
I am sorry for not making you the number one priority in my life. That is something I have to live with everyday. I am sorry for neglecting you physically and mentally, and forcing you to seek it elsewhere. I’m sorry that you don’t love me anymore.
All I have ever wanted since we met was to make you the happiest woman on the planet and look after you like any husband wants to do for his bride. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of what the meaning of my life was about.
I should have sought help for my personal struggles and insecurities. I should have confided in you for support. Instead, I kept to myself and let my inner demons take control of my life.
Moving out of our home has been the darkest and scariest time of my life. My heart breaks every morning, when I wake to find you not there beside me.
I will never know if you will read this, and I know that even if you did it wouldn’t mend the fences between us, but all I can hope is that one day the stars will realign to get us back on track for the way life was meant to be.
I hope that one day you can forgive me.
As I have been reflecting on the past and looking through our wedding photos I know deep in my heart that you will never look or love another man the way you loved me. I have never or will never be the perfect man but I do know that the only thing I need is you.
I love you every second of every day and I will always.