Recently, I saw a post asking what you would say to alcohol if you could?
My response to that was: "What I would say is NOT suitable to print."
While there was a joking tone to that response, there was also a large element of truth to it. Alcohol and I are not on speaking terms anymore.
Watch: What happens to your body after a year without alcohol? Post continues below.
When I first started on my sober journey, I wrote a breakup letter to alcohol.
It may sound odd to some people, but it helped me to put into words the grief I was feeling at losing a version of myself I was so familiar with.
Much like a toxic relationship, I was leaving behind the familiar and stepping into the unknown.
Have you ever loved someone so much, that you were willing to be unhappy just to keep them in your life?
That was the way it was for me and alcohol.
I knew that in order to be happy I had to let it go. I had tried everything I could to keep it in my life, because while I was miserable, I just couldn’t imagine my life without it.
I had identified as a drinker for so long; it was who I was and what I did, and even though there was a lot of shame and embarrassment attached to that version of me, it was still so damn hard to let go.
Here is the letter I wrote in 2018:
I’m breaking up with you.
For some time now our relationship has been rocky, and that’s putting it mildly.
When I first met you, I thought you were so much fun, that together we were fun. But that was a long time ago. That was before I knew what you were really like and before I knew the full effect you would have on my life.