Reality TV reunions are built on drama. We've come to expect it. Heck, I enjoy it. 

But for me, one recent reality TV finale crossed a line. What started as mindless entertainment quickly turned into something deeply uncomfortable and I found myself disgusted. Because behind the drama and the sparkly facade of reality TV was a moment every woman will find painfully familiar. 

For anyone uninitiated with Netflix's Let's Marry Harry, the premise centres around Harry Jowsey — the Aussie reality star who first got his start on dating shows before building a career hopping from one series to the next. 

Harry has built an entire reputation as a, well… somewhat polarising figure with a notoriously tumultuous dating life, plagued by allegations of cheating both on and off-screen. 

The show's setup was as chaotic as you'd expect: a group of 20 women vying for the affection of a self-proclaimed reformed player. Throughout the season, the tone remained predictably trashy. It was full of dramatic arguments, grand romantic gestures and the usual producer-driven antics. 

It was addictive, messy TV right up until that finale, where Harry ultimately chose Amber over runner-up Danelle. 

Watch: Let's Marry Harry Official Trailer. Article continues after video

But by the time we got to the reunion, that lighthearted fantasy was well and truly gone, and the atmosphere shifted dramatically from petty drama to something much more sinister.

At the reunion, Amber aired out a mountain of dirty laundry explaining why their marriage dissolved almost immediately after the wedding. She detailed how Harry never prioritised the relationship, levelled cheating allegations against him (which Harry denied) and claimed that Harry had stayed in contact with and slept with Danelle, his runner-up, while he and Amber were still together.

It was intense. There was lots of yelling and lots of tears.  

Of course, with two completely conflicting timelines being pushed, we'll never truly know who is telling the whole truth and viewers will just have to make up their own minds based on track records. 

But the truth of what happened in private isn't even the main issue here. The real problem for me is how we react to allegations like this and the very specific, toxic excuses men rely on when it comes to covering for their friends.

That became glaringly obvious the moment Harry's long-time friend, Sonny, walked onto the stage. Rather than offering a balanced perspective or simply supporting his friend, Sonny immediately went on the attack, labelling all 20 women "classless" for daring to call Harry out on his behaviour. 

He zeroed in on Amber for sharing her experience with palpable detest.

When Amber rightly pointed out, "You didn't date him," Sonny's response laid bare the entire issue: "I've known him a lot longer than you. You've known him for two minutes."

Sonny went on to claim Amber wasn't worthy of Harry, insisting that Harry had been a good friend to him. Right, because that means he couldn't possibly be the villain Amber made him out to be. 

Now, was Amber's delivery at the reunion perfect? No. Far from it. But after holding in her feelings for an entire year until the show aired, expecting an alleged victim of cheating to deliver a polished, polite critique is unreasonable. Watching a man aggressively dismiss a woman's lived experience on national television was triggering, revealing and deeply unsettling.

And therein lies the core problem.

Sonny's comments aren't an isolated incident on a reality show or even real life. They reflect a broader cultural mindset where men defend their friends to the death simply because they've personally had a good experience with them. 

It stems from a dangerous logic: if he's loyal to me, he couldn't possibly be capable of harming the women in his life.

The truth that men like Sonny refuse to accept is simple: someone can be a loyal friend and still be a terrible partner.

Just because you've known someone for years doesn't mean you know how they act behind closed doors. Just because a woman only dated a man for a short period doesn't invalidate her experience or mean she's lying. 

By prioritising male camaraderie over basic empathy for women, men like Sonny actively silence victims and uphold a culture where women are never believed over the word of a "good guy."

There is nothing wrong with backing a friend, but there is everything wrong with getting on television, berating a woman for sharing her pain and hiding behind blind loyalty.

Ultimately, the lack of a backbone from Harry's entire circle at the reunion offered a clear answer to a bigger question. Harry acts without accountability, repeats his toxic patterns and shows zero remorse for the trail of destruction he leaves behind for one simple reason: he surrounds himself with enablers who will always convince him otherwise. 

Feature Image: Netflix.