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Leonardo DiCaprio's ex-assistant lets slip what it's really like to be his constant companion.

Leonardo Dicaprio’s ex-assistant has ponied up the goss about what it’s really like to be his assistant.

Let’s not focus on that for a second, let’s focus on the fact this job exists and all our dreams of being on the other side of that fish tank are one step closer.

Actress Kasi Brown sat down with Huffington Post to spill those golden, perfectly sculpted beans and as you’d expect, it sounded like the trailer of every rom com you’ve ever seen:

“Leo and I always had fun on set,” said Brown.

“Sometimes, I would pretend that he was the stereotype of an entitled celebrity and when he would ask me to do something, I would bow and in a beaten-down voice say, ‘Yes, sir, anything you like sir, anything else, sir?’ and he would laugh and tell me to knock it off.”

Oh, you.

Brown paints a picture of long days working shoulder-to-shoulder, where she’d valiantly shield his face from the blinding flashes of the paparazzi, protecting him so they “couldn’t snap photos of him making weird faces while he rehearsed.”

Or even when she’d have to step in the shoes of actresses gone MIA to play opposing parts.

“When they cut, Marty came up to me and said, ‘You’re an actress!’ and Leo stepped off set and said, ‘Kasi!’ in an impressed voice,” Brown said.

“They both made me feel really good about my acting and the work that I was doing to learn everything I could on set while assisting Leo.”

I should mention she was playing his elderly mother. It’s no French girl but i’ll take it.

A personal note Leonardo sent to Brown during their time together. Source: Huffington Post.
A personal note Leonardo sent to Brown during their time together. Source: Huffington Post.
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When she wasn’t his portable umbrella stand, Brown would accompany Leo as he passed through  various foreign cities, fulfilling his voyeuristic desire to “observe people and goof around playing characters, doing accents, whatever.”

Gyarr, be thar any sea ports in this town? Aye have ah boat ‘dat ah need to stand at the front of with me arms out, gyarr.

But mostly, these foreign traipses involved her getting punched by French Canadians.

“Those Montreal girls were crazy for him!” said Brown.

“One punched me in the arm in a club to get close to him.”

The pair split  parted ways were ripped from eachother’s arms in 2004 when filming ended for the Aviator. But even though their time was brief and beautiful, Brown has gone on to make her own movie released in 2015.

I would also like to make a movie, Leo. You’ll never guess who it stars.

Video by Hollywood Reporter