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No, Leonardo DiCaprio was not raped by a bear.

Well, I can pretty much go home now because that’s the best headline I will ever have the pleasure of writing.

Fox Studios has had to issue a statement clarifying that while Leonardo DiCaprio does have an encounter with a bear in his new film The Revenant, it was not in fact of a sexual nature.

The denial follows a story on the Drudge Report that claims, and I quote, “The bear flips Leo over and thrusts and thrusts during the explicit mauling.”

“He is raped — twice!”

THRUSTS AND THRUSTS.

Fox told Entertainment Weekly in a statement: “As anyone who has seen the movie can attest, the bear in the film is a female who attacks Hugh Glass because she feels he might be threatening her cubs. There is clearly no rape scene with a bear.”

Leo and Judy’s encounter.

The Revenant is based on a novel of the same name about the life of frontiersman Hugh Glass who lived from 1780 to 1833, and directed by Alejandro Iñárritu.

Of course, the report left us all asking, is there anything Leonardo won’t do for an Oscar? I mean, throw him a frickin’ bone. The guy is desperate.

Apart from the alleged rape, other hardships Leonardo DiCaprio has apparently endured on the set of The Revenant in the name of his art are sleeping in the warm guts of a horse; eating raw bison (and he’s a vegetarian); and weather so cold equipment was breaking.

In news that will only spur DiCaprio to greater and more extreme acting heights, the bear, Judy, has been nominated for Outstanding Achievement, Character Animation in a Live Action Production.

Watch the scene between Leo and Judy in The Revenant trailer…

Video by 20th Century Fox

The Revenant comes out January 8. The Oscars are on February 28, 2016.

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