“Hey darling, so, you know how you said you’d like to meet my colleague Stuart? Well, he and his wife are coming over for some drinks in half an hour, I’m leaving work in 40 – see you soon!”
As an exhausted parent, this is most probably the last text you’d like to receive come Friday afternoon. Tempting as it might be, to text your husband back a certain emoji, a bit more effort is required. For example, if, like me, by 4pm you’re already braless in your pyjamas, you’ll need to head back to that leaning tower of laundry, and find something unstained to wear (baby steps). Your next move is to see if you can rent a childless couple’s home (typically clean) for the evening. If this is not possible – text your husband that emoji – then rally the troops – you’re going to need their help…
(Before I begin, let me assure you that I’m a big subscriber to the belief that perception is more important than reality, and similarly, I’m a bigger fan of David Copperfield than Martha Stewart. As such, some of these cleanup strategies involve white sheets, the power of “illusion”, and “acting”. It’s all about fully committing to the role…)
This is how to “clean” your house quickly and appear “together” before last-minute guests arrive:
1. Get on the front-foot when you become a parent, and paint the inside of your home “rainbow crayon”. Also, look into investing in “dust” coloured flooring.