By ROSIE WATERLAND
Laurina from The Bachelor – aka Audrey Day-Knight, aka #DirtyStreetPie – made an informercial. A glorious, informative and sexy informercial, that has totally convinced me I need to buy an indoor clothesline. Immediately.
Well, a ‘designer.line‘ to be exact, which is apparently the “new Australian icon to rival the Hills Hoist”:
Yep. Laurina is legit.
We open on Ms. Dirtystreetpie casually gliding through her living room, before she comes across three sexy designer cardboard boxes:
Inside is the one crucial life-item I never knew I needed – a clothesline that doubles as a stylish wall feature AND a high-tech dryer of clothes.
Wait. Hold up – you mean to tell me that this company has solved the age-old dilemma of how to dry clothes WITHOUT a dryer? You mean to tell me if you just, like, hang your clothes off something, the air will just… dry them?
WHERE HAS THIS MAGICAL DEVICE BEEN ALL MY LIFE?
OMG and it looks so easy to assemble!
All you need is a drill and a screwdriver and nails and pins, then you pull out that pole thingy, then put in that nail thingy, then pull the wire thingy, then pull out the other pole thingy, then attach the wire from the first pole thingy to the second pole thingy, then let the bottom wire hang for a sec while you get the third pole thingy, then attach the wire to that pole thingy and then it’s ready to hang clothes on:
VOILA. SO EASY AND NOT AT ALL COMPLICATED!
Well, I’m sold. How could this thing get any better – WAIT A DAMN MINUTE. What?!? You mean to tell me, when I’m not using this incredible technology to dry my clothes WITHOUT ANY ELECTRICITY, it just sits there on the wall as a stylish design feature?
Like an expensive ARTWORK?
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY LAURINA.
PS – Rosie will be doing a live chat on Mamamia Facebook during TONIGHT’S episode of The Bachelor. So if you’ve got something you’d like to ask her about Bachie Wiggum, Osher’s hair or Dirty Street Pies, make sure you’re on Mamamia Facebook from 7:30-8:30pm on TONIGHT. #DirtyStreetPie