Even in a genre rife with wannabes whose powers of self-abasement know no bounds, I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here manages to scrape the bottom of the barrel every time.
The challenges its contestants subject themselves to are so awful as to be almost unwatchable, like the time Shane Warne got bitten on the head by an anaconda (OK, that was kind of funny), or the time any of them had to eat anything, ever.
Take last night’s “Sticky Wiki” challenge, undertaken by Havana Brown, Paul Harragon, and Laurina Fleure.
The challenge? Sit at a makeshift office desk and read your Wikipedia entry while having a load of repellant, rotten, sickening articles dumped upon your head.
Try and watch it, go on. I dare you… Post continues after video.
Buffalo urine, meal worms, actual shit, impala blood, caul fat (that’s the fat that surrounds the organs, FYI), a biting monitor lizard, an enormous python, chicken guts, nondescript slime. These are the things Paul and Havana endured.
Then it came to Laurina. “I don’t want to do it. It’s disgusting,” she said, and never a truer word was spoken.
“What for? I’d rather go without dinner.”
Me too, L-Fleezy. Me too.
“I don’t even want the fucking stars!”
Poor, fastidious Laurina actually tried to clean off the soiled office chair that her jungle peers had sat in before her.
It starts off pretty easily. I can’t imagine how having molasses poured over you feels great (depends on what you’re into), but molasses followed by some soft duck feathers is nothing compared to wee and fat and meal worms, right?
And in case you were wondering, Laurina is still Rosie Waterland’s feminist hero — listen here:
Still, she falters as she reads aloud the life choices that led her to this point. Never forget #DirtyStreetPie.
Next, it’s “rhino dung” (I would hazard it’s probably just your run of the mill cow’s, knowing Ten’s budgetary woes), which she’s definitely unhappy about.
Watch Laurina barely enduring… Post continues after video.
It’s the 5,000 cockroaches that do her in though. She breaks all the rules by flapping her arms around and getting out of her chair.
“Get it off! Get it off!”
You know, some people think Laurina’s refusal or failure to complete certain tasks means she’s not a team player, but I think it’s her strength. She refuses to be peer pressured into stuff she thinks is dumb and gross, and I personally salute her. That was disgusting, Laurina, and winning this show on a platform not doing any of the designated tasks could change the landscape of reality TV forever.
You go, you little revolutionary.