Laura Prepon spoke to a Scientology magazine; wants you to know she's a thetan.

It’s so depressing when it emerges that people you admire are Scientologists.

It’s like when I found out that Elmo was a sex pest, or that Milli Vanilli weren’t really singing.

Orange is the New Black star Laura Prepon, 35, has given a jargon-filled interview to Celebrity magazine, an official Scientology publication.

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Laura Prepon as her Orange is the New Black character Alex Vause. Image via Instagram.

This is because she is a longtime Scientology devotee and credits the “religion” with her current Zen-like state.

“So when I first got into Scientology, I did Personal Values and Integrity and then Overcoming Ups and Downs in Life…

“Pretty soon after that I got onto the Purification Rundown, and I started moving up the Bridge,” she told Celebrity, via Defamer.

In case you don’t know what the Bridge is, allow Scientology.org to enlighten you:

“Man, in his religious tradition, has long imagined a bridge across the chasm between where one is now and a higher plateau of existence. Unfortunately, many of those attempting to cross the chasm fell into the abyss.”

Not anymore though, thanks to science-fiction writer and noted pathological liar L. Ron Hubbard!

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Prepon is still climbing the “Bridge” to… somewhere. Image via Instagram.

“Employing this metaphor, the Classification, Gradation and Awareness Chart represents, in fact, the bridge which spans the chasm and brings one to the higher plateau. This is the vision Man has cherished for at least ten thousand years, and it is now attainable by following the steps as laid out on the chart.”

Clear now? Great.

Watch Laura Prepon and Taylor Schilling talk about Orange is the New Black… Post continues after video.

Video via Rolling Stone

Prepon says Scientology has really helped her in her role as Alex Vause on Orange is the New Black.

“I feel a lot of the auditing I’ve had helps me to be willing to go there and be free and vulnerable and really jump into these scenes wholeheartedly.”

Which sounds kind of exactly like what actors do, to me. Actors act in scenes, it’s their job. It’s probably not necessary to be “audited” in order to do it properly.

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Prepon with her Orange is the New Black castmates.

From Prepon’s longwinded and effusive praise of Scientology, it sounds like what she’s really getting out of it is some much-needed counselling.

“I’ve had a lot of amazing auditing, but I must say that New Era Dianetics has been some of the best. My wins were so huge, they’re hard to even describe. In a recent session I spotted a decision I made that had been affecting me at scuh a deep level, and for so long – I cried and laughed for quite a while when I found that one,” she told Celebrity.

A psychiatrist, or a psychologist, or a therapist of any stripe, can help you talk out your issues. The difference is, they won’t record your most personal revelations and use them against you if you ever do something they don’t like.

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Prepon with her Orange is the New Black co-star Uzo Aduba. Image via Instagram.

Would it surprise you to know that Prepon is the author of a new book called The Stash Plan that promises to rid you of “pesky” cellulite through its combination of ancient dietary wisdom and the latest science?

The Stash Plan gives readers the key to literally heal themselves from the inside out and start living the life they’ve always wanted,” apparently.

Curiouser and curiouser!

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The Stash Plan is Prepon’s new diet plan which coincidentally will make her loads of money.

Towards the end of the interview, Prepon says some fairly normal things, but then totally ruins it with more Scientology-speak that makes her sound completely insane.

“Another realization I had in auditing is that there is a bigger picture. This is my career but it does not define me. I am so much bigger than this career and industry,” she said. Sure, you are not your job. It’s good to remember that.

But then… “It’s my job and it’s very important to me, but, when I have huge wins in session, and when you really cognite that you are a thetan and you have a mind and a body, and that the MEST universe does not control you – it puts things into perspective.”

It sure does, Laura. It sure does.

h/t Defamer.

Here are some other Hollywood types you never knew were Scientologists. Or you totally knew and I didn’t. 


More on Hollywood’s oddest religion?

Why does Scientology have a blackmail file on John Travolta?

Fitzy on that time a Hollywood star tried to convert him to Scientology.

“Scientology broke my heart.”

The ex-wife of a celebrity Scientologist has penned an essay on why she left the church.

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