It’s four days until the Super Bowl and there’s no time to waste.
“Kylie,” Kris whispers, clutching her youngest daughter’s arm.
“Can we maybe move this along? I have the videographer on standby and we need to shoot this last scene. He needs to edit it and the Super Bowl is in four days. We just don’t have time to waste in this delivery room, okay? We need a shot of the baby’s feet, Kylie. For the video. You’re doing amazing sweetie… but Kim is tired and wants to go home now.”
Kylie nods. After Life Of Kylie showed the world she is actually a robot with a penchant for wigs, she knows what’s at stake. In an ideal world, the video will be so good that people will forget the youngest Kardashian sister ever labelled 2016 “the year of realising stuff“.
Yes. Project Baby Video is going to change everything.
If there was ever a chance for Kris to show the world she was the ultimate Momager, tada! Pulling off a pregnancy announcement on Super Bowl Sunday is like winning a Pulitzer or Oscar but, you know, better. Sunday will be the biggest social media day of the year, and she had her sights set on the impossible: trending higher than the half-time act. Amazing.
Kris Jenner is the hardest working person Kris Jenner knows.
If Kris could have given birth to this baby herself, she would have. She rued the day her daughters failed to sync up their ovulation cycles better. It felt a bit like a wasted opportunity, you know? Kim's surrogate only gave birth two weeks ago, and if you ask Kris it was a little selfish of Kylie not to get a wriggle on straight awa--
"Kim! Would you stop taking pictures of yourself? Your sister's in labour!"
There had been tension in the delivery room ever since Kim warned Kylie about having a stretchy vagina post-birth (the videographer got it all on tape - bless him!) which Kourtney didn't take too kindly to. Kourtney says the vagina bounces back like an elastic band if you drink your body weight in kale juice and baby lion tears within 12 minutes of giving birth. Kim called her a "dumb idiot" to which Kourtney said "shove a taco up your ass"... but Kris would definitely be googling the recipe later on.
Mind you, it might be difficult for Kylie to drink so much kale juice and baby lion tears with all that placenta to eat as well.