So, we’re more than sure Kylie Jenner is pregnant, we’re more than sure she is deliberately hiding from us, and we’re more than sure she’s ready to pop.
With the incessant predications of when a baby will appear, and more predications as to why we have seldom seen Kylie in the last six months (!!!!), it would seem Kylie (or more likely, Kris) has meticulously concocted a publicity show around the pregnancy.
And in buying into that hook, line and sinker, we all accidentally forgot there was a dad involved, too.
See? You forgot, didn’t you. Reminder: this baby is meant to be Travis Scott’s.
So who in the world is he? And where in the world is he?
For the uninitiated, Travis Scott is a musician/rapper/songwriter/record producer, born Jacques Webster, Jr (a curiously less exotic change of name, but we’ll roll with it) in 1992.
In mid-April 2017, Travis and Kylie were spotted together at Coachella, just weeks after Kylie announced her split from rapper Tyga.
So if Kylie’s been hiding out from the world, where has Travis been? Down in the bunkers with her?
Well, just over a week after
The Kardashians leaked the news “sources” revealed she was pregnant, Scott was brooding in a backyard:
A few weeks later, he posted again. This time he was… oh, he was brooding in a backyard:
A month later, he was uploading photos again. This time, he was brooding on a motorbike – but still outdoors (we guess routine, aesthetics).
Well, this is new. By late December, he moved indoors:
And then, well, by the end of December, he uploaded… oh. (Shout out to his pregnant girlfriend at home.)
Since then, consistent and totally reputable sources have confirmed the duo have broken up, got back together, that Tyga is the father, that the two are more in love than ever, that Kylie isn’t actually pregnant, that Kylie is staying at Kris Jenner’s house and that pigs have wings and fly.
In early January, Travis did an interview with Billboard, refusing to confirm the rumour he is, in fact, the dad of Kylie’s baby:
“They’re just guesses. Let them keep fishing.”
And just over a week later, he was brooding again:
Travis Scott, therefore, is doing what Travis Scott does best. Performing, staying in the music scene and uploading overly dramatic poses on Instagram.
Meanwhile, his rumoured girlfriend keeps trolling us.
Cut the crap.