real life

WHUT? Kylie Jenner and Tyga are, like, totally getting married.

What do you mean 18 is young?

Y’know, when I was 18, my ex-boyfriend told me that if no one had married me by the age of 28 he’d do the honours, which was really rather selfless of him.

Kylie Jenner is not hanging around waiting for such an offer.

She has decided she wants to be the most bogan glamorous of brides: the teenage bride. Short of a shotgun wedding in Vegas, I simply can’t conceive of anything more romantic.

The wedding could look something like this.

Of course, this rabid marriage speculation has emerged from a TMZ report in which a reporter (harasser? haranguer? stalker?) following Jenner, 18, on her way to her obligatory waiting black SUV after the AMAs, asked whether she and her boyfriend, “rapper” (have you heard this guy?) Tyga are going to get married.

“Yes!” Jenner calls, in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

She was probably rolling her eyes but also unable to stop herself imagining a wedding waaay better than any of Kim’s three in her head.

Watch the non-event, here… Post continues after video.

Video via Hollywood Naked

This is just huge and exciting news, you guys. Especially considering the couple apparently broke up on Thursday, Tyga’s 26th birthday.


This is just like my boyfriend and I when we were 18, only my boyfriend was a better rapper than Tyga and my face looked… like an 18-year-old’s.

Proving his maturity and readiness to be a husband and potential father to the reality stars of the future, Tyga penned another of his heaps real rhymes to address the issue of the break-up that same day.

Kylie Jenner is in all of Tyga’s music videos. I wonder why?

The expletive-laden track called Happy Birthday appeared to take aim at his former, now current, girlfriend.

The lyrics go: “Think I’m worried ’bout a rumour?” before apparently calling her “lame.” OUCHIES!

He also raps, “I make a wish, I blow the cake,” which isn’t how birthday candles work in my household.

Listen to Tyga’s little ditty here… Post continues after audio.

Video via TygaVEVO

Fortunately, they’re back together, since Kylie Jenner appears to be the sole subject matter of his mad raps, and also the only reason anyone knows who he is.

I wish you many years of happiness, surgical procedures, and diss raps, Kyga!