When I read that kitten heels were back, I was skeptical.
Squinting at the screen, I leant back in my chair and took a moment. Kitten heels. Kitten heels.
Long since delegated to the ‘Are you kidding me? I would rather DIE’ pile of fashion, the humble kitten heel has spent over a decade in sartorial purgatory. To don a stunted heel was to admit defeat, or at least a satire.
But, bad reputation aside, Vogue seems pretty darn sure kitten heels are making a comeback.
Hell hath frozen over.
In their annual Spring/Summer trend review, Vogue lined up the usual candidates: deconstructed shirting, tulle, sportswear, mini-bags, ruffles… but slid in something that shocked even the most seasoned campaigner.
There, among the Balenciaga booties and Victoria Beckham flats, were the unmistakable stumps of a kitten heel.
“A close call, as flatforms were a popular shape on the catwalk, but the kitten heels have it and here’s why,” the magazine explained.
“The French street style set are all wearing them. Theirs are classic black slingbacks from Prada or two-toned reissues from Chanel or tiny Céline pointed pumps. Regardless, we all know that where the French style set leads, we follow.”
And just like that, lazy girls around the world pumped their fists in the air.
We had won.
Whatever way you want to look at, normal heels (yes, we’re calling them ‘normal heels’ now) are torturous.
Beautiful? Yes. Transforming? Absolutely.
A crippling foot-trap that can result in nothing but band-aided blisters and a wincing shuffle? Yep, that too.
Any fashion chick worth her weight in fluffy Fendi keychains has suffered her fair share of stiletto-related injuries. Personally, I once attended a party on a boat in a pair of sky-high heels that were so painful to walk in, I ended up stranded on the roof unable to make it down the stairs and into the party.
By the time we disembarked, I looked like Helena Bonham-Carter on a bad hair day.
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