You can’t just use two people we thought we knew and transport them to a small, happy town in Italy for a perfume ad.

That’s the rule.

Let me explain.

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If you haven’t seen the most recent episode of Game of Thrones, please God turn away now. I shan’t be responsible for ruining a moment many of us have waited years for. I simply can’t have that weight on my shoulders.

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GO AWAY.

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Ok. You’re still here, so I’m going to assume we can talk about… it.

One of the final scenes of Game of Thrones season seven featured Jon Snow (Kit Harington) and Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) doing sex, and we all liked it very much.

It was the culmination of hours of incestual sexual tension, which somehow doesn’t feel quite so wrong in George R. R. Martin’s fantasy world.

But now, we're (laughably) expected to wait over a year to see what becomes of their relationship.

Will they do more sex? Will they be... having a baby? Or will it all end with betrayal and blood and ZOMBIES and Tyrion meddling and death like Game of Thrones seems to have always promised?

Listen to Laura Brodnik and Lize Ratliff deep dive into the finale of Game of Thrones on The Binge. Post continues after audio.

You see, in an age where our real world is quite terrifying (see: Donald Trump, Kim Jong-un, the poo date from hell), we take the escapism offered by Game of Thrones very seriously.

And it would seem the clever marketing team at Dolce & Gabbana (which I definitely thought was 'Dolce & Cabbana' until literally right now) knows this.

So they've created a bizarre ad for their fragrance 'The One' featuring Kit Harington and Emilia Clarke as tourists, who mingle with regular people in an intimate Italian town. The ad seems to be suggesting that three things will happen if you buy the perfume:

1. You will be magically transported to Italy.
2. Everyone will dance... sexy.
3. Jon and Daenerys will be happy in the end.

In the process, they've destroyed everything we know, 

Let me show you their stories.

In Harington's ad, he enters an Italian square and does something I'm not sure he's ever done before.

He smiles.

Then he does a sexy Italian clap and dance.

Jon Snow doesn't dance. He is far too worried about what's happening beyond the wall.

Then he ends up doing a weird little sashay away from the group, without even mentioning 'The North' once. It's bizarre. 

I don't feel right. Jon Snow hasn't gone to bloody Italy on a holiday while the White Walkers have just invaded the North. He wouldn't do that. I'm so confused.

Then there's Emilia Clarke's ad.

To start with, she's sporting brown hair which is... distracting.

She's also very smiley which seems odd because  a) her dragons are no where in sight, and b) one of her dragons has been killed and resurrected as an evil dragon.

Has she... forgotten?

She then dances with some sort of festive stick, which is very unlike Daenerys. She generally spends her time looking serious and conquering cities and plotting battles.

Finally, she claps with the common people. The villagers. I mean, maybe she's set them free from their ruler, that's a possibility, but usually she doesn't celebrate with them? She's... busy.

It would seem Dolce & Gabbana have tried to capitalise on the current obsession with Harington and Clarke, but they've hugely underestimated the investment of their audience.

It's too soon.

I don't believe for one second that Jon and Daenerys are enjoying a European holiday with regular people. They have White Walkers to fight. Ice dragons to destroy. A familial relationship to discover.

And a fragrance can't do anything to change that.

Read our recap of the Game of Thrones finale, here. 

Read our favourite fan theory, which suggests Bran may be the show's greatest villain, here.