Kim Kardashians Valentines Day gift guide is nuts.

Stressing about what to get your partner this Valentine’s Day? Don’t worry – Kim Kardashian’s got your back.

That’s right – the reality star and mother of two has taken it upon herself to help us plebs celebrate the day in style.

The theme of her gift guide? “Behind closed doors”.

Kardashian posted the gift guide on her website yesterday.

And while there are some affordable items on there - including an $11 pair of handcuffs, and a $10 pair of edible undies - there's also plenty of ideas that are strictly VIP only. $400 chokers or $10,000 bottles of champagne, anyone?

Other "highlights" include Let's F**k The XXX Board Game ($10), a stripper pole for $129, Ralph Lauren sheets for $145, a silk blindfold for $69 - and Armand de Brignac Brut Rose Champagne for a cool $10,000. Might as well stock up and buy a few bottles, right?

The wife of rapper Kanye West also helpfully came up with separate, more PG-rated gift guides for him and her, including $1200 headphones and a Yeezy Lambskin Bomber jacket for $3134 for the special man in your life, and a $9624 rose gold ring and a $480 body suit for the ladies. They might be for those of us with a healthier bank balance than mine.

Finally, we can celebrate Valentine's Day just like a Kardashian.

Thanks for spreading the love, Kim.

How are you celebrating Valentine's Day this year?

TAP on the image below and scroll through the gallery to see Kim Kardashian's pregnancy style...

2015 VMA's in Balmain.