celebrity

Literally just 37 thoughts I had while looking at Kim Kardashian naked in a tree.

The threat of World War III is looming, hurricanes are ravaging large expanses of the American coastline, a third royal baby is on the way and Kim Kardashian West is naked in a backyard.

No, really. She is. Just take a look.

kim kardashian tree
Source: Kim Kardashian West / Instagram.

The 36-year-old shared the photo to Instagram and Twitter on Wednesday alongside the caption, "So honored to have been photographed by Mert and Marcus for their book new book! 20 years in the making!"

It's arty, it's divisive, it's currently being ridiculed to hell and high water on the internet and raising so many thoughts and questions within me. 37, to be exact.

1. Hey, look! It's Kim Kardashian naked and in a tree.

2. Seeing this feels less weird than it should.

3. How can something that should be so wrong, feel so right?

4. It's like Calabassas meets Kate Bush. No pun intended.

kim kardashian tree
Neither. Source: E!
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5. I know the internet has been blowing up over this because, well, it's Kim Kardashian naked in a tree, but really, it's not like we should be surprised by this. 'Art Kim' has been around for a while now.

6. 'Art Kim' does not shop at the mall or coordinate her bags, heels, and headscarves at all times like 'Paris Hilton Kim' did.

7. Nor does she move to Miami to film spin-off series.

8. 'Art Kim' definitely does not do Carl's Jr commercials or promote Skechers.

kim kardashian tree
Khloe gets it. Source: E!

9. 'Art Kim' poses nude.

10. Sometimes it's in a bathroom when she's feeling herself, sometimes it's on a stairwell or in an abandoned hotel room ala Love Magazine.

11. And sometimes, 'Art Kim' just needs some bloody fresh air and nature, you know?

12. Sometimes, 'Art Kim' just needs to climb a tree and centre herself with nature. While wearing combat boots.

13. Sometimes, 'Art Kim' looks like she's just jumped from the bedroom window of her married lover after realising his wife has come home.

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kim kardashian tree
Is it though? Source: E!

14. Sometimes, 'Art Kim' looks like the very last person in the world you'd want to teach your kids about having fun in the backyard.

15. Sometimes, 'Art Kim' makes a face like she's trying really, really hard to read that impossible top line of letters at the optometrist.

16. And sometimes, 'Art Kim' makes mistakes. She releases nature photos while two natural disasters are threatening the safety of thousands and literally wiping out homes across America.

kim kardashian tree
Get over it, you guys. Source: E!

17. But shit, art is art, you guys. And art cannot be stifled. Not by Harvey or Irma, damn it.

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18. And I know people are really scoffing her for being nude, but let's commend a woman for wearing a sensible shoe. That is truly #rare.

19. Also, if I a) owned a property, and b) it had a backyard, there's every chance I'd be climbing trees in the nude also.

20. I mean, why not? You've beaten the housing market odds. Enjoy yourself. Take a load (or all your clothes) off, right?

kim kardashian tree
Sure, babe. Source: E!

21. Props for her climbing into a tree naked, though.

22. Low key, you know this was definitely her response to the photographers pitching the concept.

23. It takes a woman with a strong belief in the law of physics to trust a branch the way that she is right now.

kim kardashian tree
Fair point. Source: E!
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24. I'll never trust Deliveroo's estimated delivery time the way Kim trusts that branch.

25. Wasn't she scared about falling and scratching her bits?

26. I know this is personal, but I feel like Kim does not have an outie. Because only someone with an inny vagina would hold themselves with such outstretched confidence when fully naked.

kim kardashian tree
Just saying. Source: E!

27. $10 says she's gearing up to drop her own backyard plant range next year and this is the first shot from her catalogue.

28. That or it's a preview of Kanye's next Yeezy range.

29. Like, his fashion is so conceptual we're just at stark nudity now.

30. Either way, it's called yard art. Look it up.

31. I wonder if they recreated the Playboy shoot and had Kris standing in the wings with a digital camera telling Kim how great she looks.

kim kardashian tree
Work it, work it. Source: E!
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32. Also, I know this is probably a semantics thing, but it's kind of rude that she didn't tag the tree, no?

33. Trees have feelings too, Kim. They're literally living things.

34. And now that I've seen it, all I want to know is what kind of shade coverage that bad boy would offer up during the summer months.

kim kardashian tree
This much, ladies. Source: E!

35. Asking for the backyard of a home I will never own, obviously.

36. I will say this, though. Objectively, this quite a beautiful photo.

37. Even if she is, you know, naked in a tree for no clear reason.

Listen: The Binge takes a look at how 10 years of the Kardashians has changed television.

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