If you’re not having sex at least 500 times a day, you’re doing it wrong.
Kim thought it appropriate to tell sister Khloe this in an upcoming episode of their reality TV show Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
Kim shared the TMI in a bid to emphasis just how hard (puns!) she’s trying to have another baby.
Obviously we can be completely confident that this number is in no way an exaggeration, as there is not one thing in the Kardashians’ reality series that has ever been made up ever. Never.
So, here are just a few of the things that happen less times per day than a Kimye romp.
1. Checking your Facebook.
At most recent count, I only get to 492 checks each day. Kim and Kanye, thank you for making me feel like my dependence on social media is but a slight addiction when compared to your sex count.
2. Tony Abbott making a sexist gaffe
We all thought this would be up there with Kim and Kanye’s sex count, but apparently not. Tony, you made an admirable effort, please don’t let their impressive stamina get you down.
Related: Kim and Kanye Vogue cover.
3. The fridge door is opened, but nothing is taken out.
As we all know, the more times you open the fridge door, the more likely it is that something delicious will appear. This often gets one’s quota up to checking roughly 200 times/day on average, which clearly has nothing on the amount of times Kimye make sweet love on the reg.
4. My pregnant boss going to the bathroom.
I swear, she is up down and down all day. But not even she could rival Kimmy and Kanye’s number. Hard to believe I know, but completely true.
5. Daydreaming about sex.
Even my colourful imagination falls short on the Kardashian-West’s frisky ways. In a bid to outdo Kim and Kanye in my mind, I actively tried to think about having sex for a whole day. I only remembered to do this 20 times, a dismal performance.
Read more: Tina Fey’s quote about Kim Kardashian’s bum.
In all areas, we have fallen short. Kim and Kanye, as always, you have come out on top. In the most literal sense there is.
How many times do you have sex? 500? 5? Once every five years?