This week the mother-of-two generously shared her morning work out summary on Snapchat. “Running 4 miles, planks, push-ups, 1000 jump ropes & abs,” she posted, along with a photo of various props that were going to help her, including a jump rope, exercise mat and large cup with a straw.
Wait. Put the jump rope down for one second and let’s get this straight, Kim: you have gone to great lengths to assure us that your curvaceous derrière is real, but we all know that your entire look is not.
You are not the people’s princess; you are not a walking, talking, gym-ing version of human perfection. Your show might be referred to as ‘reality’ but that couldn’t be further from the truth. You are an illusion and we are simply ‘Keeping up with Vanity’.
"We are simply 'Keeping up with Vanity'." Image via Instagram.
The photo of your ‘props’ probably took you 30 minutes to style, 20 minutes to shoot and you ran it through more filters than steps you pounded on the treadmill. You drink from a straw so you don’t smudge your lipgloss unlike a regular human who glugs down water from a bottle as if their life depends on it as they shakily step off the exercise bike. You will leave the gym without a single glossy hair out of place or solo bead of contoured sweat slithering astray.
The posts you share are force-feeding pressure and heaping guilt on to those who follow you. Your lycra is lying to us and it’s incredibly dangerous to give young girls the impression that they can achieve your immaculate look with regular workouts. They can’t.
Your transformation from flashback photos is incredible. It’s as startling as Kylie Jenner’s before and after, who no doubt nabbed your surgeon’s number at an age when most teenagers pinch their older sister’s clothes. Tellingly, she wanted the key to your magical scalpels more desperately than access to your killer wardrobe.