Everything that's wrong with the 'kids menu'.

There’s a plot taking root in restaurants across the nation, from Uncle Giuseppe’s family Italian restaurant to the swankiest three hatted establishment.

The plan?

To create a future generation of fussy eaters.

Listen: Holly Wainwright and Andrew Daddo discuss the travesty that is kids menus on This Glorious Mess.

Flip to the kids section of a menu at any restaurant and you’ll find just a handful of options. Spag bol, nuggets and chips, and maybe a cheese toastie if they’re feeling particularly generous.

Why the slim pickings?

Well, perhaps it’s because chefs are notoriously territorial over their food. AHEM, their works of art. To have a child stick their grubby booger-encrusted fingers in a carefully prepared plate of escargots à la bourguignonne would be blasphemy.

Maybe it’s a joint effort and parents have conspired with the restaurants to keep kids meals cheap and cheerful. If they don’t know what they’re missing out on, you won’t have to pay for it. ‘No darling, you definitely wouldn’t like lobster.’

Or, it could be because that’s all kids will eat. Why even bother trying to make kale sound palatable? Don’t waste your time. Just bung some frozen nuggies in the oven and pass the bottle of tomato sauce.

Come to think of it, you should consider yourself bloody lucky to be blessed with a kids menu at all! Some establishments would simply laugh at the thought of kids deigning to walk through their doors. Make ’em eat an entire reef’n’beef if they think they belong here!

But if kids don’t ever get to try these adventurous non-fried foods, how will they ever develop their palate beyond the frozen section?

It’s time to take back the kids menu and put some kid friendly quinoa options on the menu. Even if we have to force those forks into their tiny hands and tell them it’s nugget crumbs.

Listen to the full episode of This Glorious Mess here:

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