"I have a kids' birthday party confession."

I have a kids’ birthday party confession.

My beautiful handful of a son just turned three. Here he is, being three.

Billy on his birthday.

And I meant to make a big fuss of him, and a dinosaur cake. You know, something low-key, like this:

In my fantasies, I bake cakes like this to show my kids how much I love them.

Because even though I am not a person who bakes cakes, or is very good an entertaining, or filling teeny-tiny gift bags, or remembering to, you know, actually invite people, twice a year my kids’ birthdays roll around and I think ‘This time, it’s all going to be different.  This time, I will channel Martha Stewart.’

So I kept talking about throwing a party for Billy and his little mates.  A bit like The Secret. You know, if you dream it, it will happen. Except then I just got really, really busy.

And forgot all about it.

Wednesday came around and I was like ‘Oops, it’s Billy’s birthday.’

So what we ended up with was a family night out for a burger and a milkshake, and some shop-bought cupcakes at daycare. Like this.

So, I’m not the perfect-party mum.  I will never be the perfect- party mum.

Which I’m secretly glad of now, because this week on  This Glorious MessSarah MacDonald told Andrew Daddo and I a story about teenagers birthday parties that has terrified me:

Have a listen to THIS:

Social media. Legal letters to cover you in case someone’s teen gets drunk and falls down. Buckets for the vomit. Security on the doors. Photo-ID guest-lists.

Apparently, this is the reality of birthday parties for teenagers in 2015.

And if that’s the case, I’m pretty happy to stay well away from party-planning until the end of time.

Bowling, anyone?

You can hear the complete episode of This Glorious Mess, hosted by Holly Wainwright and Andrew Daddo, here:

Or you can Listen on iTunes or, Listen on Soundcloud,.

And if the whole podcast thing is a bit baffling to you, here’s a guide of how to get them:

Do you make a big fuss of your kids’ birthdays?