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"Sorry, Honey Soy Chicken." A very serious ranking of Kettle Chips.

When it comes to chips, I'm not here to muck around. 

I like 'em crunchy. 

Packed full of flavour. 

And I want to feel a lil bit fancy when I'm eating them. 

Not so fancy that I don't understand their bougie flavour combination, but fancy in a "yeah I paid upwards of $5 for this family bag of chips and I ain't mad about it". 

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a Kettle Chips gal. 

I think those crunchy little buggers set the gold standard in savoury snacking. 

After a quick peruse of the interwebs, I discovered no journalist had been brave enough to rank the flavours as of yet. 

So, here I am, bravely going where no journalist has gone before in the name of crunchy, savoury, snacky goodness. 

Here is my very serious ranking of Kettle Chip flavours: 

8. Parmesan and Sweet Roasted Garlic

Image: Mamamia. 

Look, this is an OK flavour. 

I like parmesan cheese. I like garlic. And they work well together in chip form. 

But it's just a bit meh. 

If Kettle discontinued this flavour no one would be creating petitions in its name, you know what I mean?

7. Chilli

Image: Mamamia. 

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This is a goody! 

Kettle's Chilli flavour packs a hit without being overwhelmingly hot. 

It's a chilli chip you can actually enjoy. Just make sure you have an ice cold beverage on hand to wash down the spice. 

6. Honey Soy Chicken

Image: Mamamia. 

Look, I know a lot of people are fans of the Honey Soy Chicken, but in chip form I like my chicken to be sans... honey chicken. 

This combo just feels a bit "meh" and like it's trying too hard. Having said that, I've been known to make my way through a bowl of Honey Soy at a party. 

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I just wouldn't choose it as my Friday night movie snack. 

5. Sea Salt and Vinegar

Image: Mamamia. 

Salt and vinegar is a classic chip flavour combination and Kettle does a decent version. 

But nothing will ever beat Smith's Crinkle Cut Salt and Vinegar. 

NOTHING!  

4. Sweet Chilli and Sour Cream

Image: Mamamia. 

This is a bloody good chip. 

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That's it. 

It's not an original flavour but Kettle does it well, combining a hit of chilli with creamy sour cream and that classic crunch.  

It's the kind of chip you can take to any party and it'll go down a treat. 

3. Honey Baked Ham

Image: Mamamia. 

Ok, these bad boys are back! 

They're called Honey Baked Ham but don't taste anything like your soggy Christmas lunch. 

Instead, they're smokey and sweet and moreish. 

Welcome back, you gloriously crunchy, hammy bastards, we've missed you. 

2. Sea Salt

Image: Mamamia. 

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Look, this is a good lookin' chip. 

Nothing fancy. 

It's crunchy and salty and always a good time. 

Kettle's Sea Salt is a chip that you can depend on for a good snack, time and time again.  

1. Classic Herb and Spice 

Image: Mamamia. 

Classic Herb and Spice (or the rich woman's Light N Tangy as I like to call it) is the superior chip and I won't be told otherwise. 

That CRUNCH. 

That FLAVOUR YOU CAN WRAP YOUR EYEBALLS AROUND. 

That EARLY 2000S NOSTALGIA. 

Classic Herb and Spice combines all the best flavours - tomato, garlic, Worcestershire sauce, undetermined herbs, red and also green stuff - into a chip that's so irresistible, you can eat an entire packet whilst fondly remembering that time you ate an entire packet back in 2002. 

It's a bloody great chip. 

A chip of champions. And its return is honestly the biggest silver lining from this whole pandemic thing. 

Keryn Donnelly is Mamamia's Pop Culture Editor. For more of her TV, film and book recommendations and to see photos of her dog, follow her on Instagram and TikTok. 

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