Before we delve into this, I want everyone to do some breathing exercises.
Breathe iiiinnnnnnn and breathe oooooouuuuuttttttt (and repeat 10 times).
Okay, ready? We will get through this together.
For those unaware, there is a currently a very public fight going on between The Bachelor 2016’s self proclaimed villain Keira Maguire and The Bachelor 2017’s latest villain, Jen Hawke. We really should have seen this coming, because “cat fights” automatically happen whenever two humans with fallopian tubes collide.
Duh! It’s basic biology. Don’t blame me, blame science.
Anyway, here’s a recap of what’s happened in the last 24 hours…
The pair have been trading swipes online for what feels like the entire season, but tension really ramped up when Keira, 31, debriefed Thursday night’s episode on her Instagram account.
Amongst the hashtags #sheneedstogo and #delusional, Keira also described Jen, a 27-year-old marketing manager, as “such a nasty piece of work” in a video shared via her Instagram Story.
When Jen walked off the show for good, Keira told her 53,000 followers: “I’m so excited. Oh, bye Felicia, don’t trip on the way out.
“She’s not even worthy of getting a car, she’s so delusional. Walk home, b*tch.”
On Friday morning, Jen addressed the comments during an interview with The Daily Telegraph, telling the publication that Keira is “trying to cling onto some limelight for a little bit longer.”
“All I could think was ‘Seriously babe, you haven’t extended your vocabulary in a year, you can’t move beyond that scope’,” Jen said.
“So when I see her face, I think I can’t even dumb myself down to deal with this chick.”
Phew, okay. So that’s where the ‘public feud’ currently stands. Did we all make it through unscathed? Are everyone’s teeth intact after all that clenching?
It’s all so messy. So… b*tchy. And, well, a little surprising.
It’s a fact that Australia loved watching both Keira and Jen’s stints on our television screens. Without their glorious facial expressions and cutting remarks – without them expertly playing up for the cameras and producers – the show would be a complete bore. We would be swamped with soppy snogs and saccharine soliloquies and blergh.