On a recent flight, the length of which I do not feel comfortable specifying, I spent the entire time watching Keeping up with the Kardashians.
It was… excellent. Over the course of
14 hours worth a number of episodes, Kim got mad about Kourtney not wanting to hang out with them and said she was the “least interesting to look at” anyway, Khloé felt art-shamed by Kris so created fake art from a fake artist and made her hang it in her house, Kim developed a passing interest in homelessness, and also struggled with body image issues despite having the most celebrated figure in modern Western civilisation.
YOU CAN’T SCRIPT THIS SH*T.
At least, that’s what I thought. Until something came to my attention.
You see, ever since the Kardashians/Jenners/Wests/Disicks/Webster(s)? started documenting a vast majority of their lives on social media as well as their reality show, people have spotted... inconsistencies. Problems. Lies, if you will.
And a recent recap of the latest episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians published on The Cut makes it clear that the timeline of the show makes precisely no sense.
Using Snapchat footage as evidence, Mariah Smith compares the sequence of scenes in episode four of season 15 to the sequence of... life, and discovers a crushing reality.
THE DRAMA CAN'T BE REAL BECAUSE IT'S ALL FILMED OUT OF ORDER.
Take, for example, a scene with Kim and Kylie, where they call Khloé to discuss the politics of their pregnancy announcements. Kylie tells Khloé that she has no intention of going public about her pregnancy, so encourages her sister to tell the world about her baby news.
This is all well and good, except for the fact that it was filmed FOUR MONTHS after Kylie's daughter was born, and a month and a half after Khloé's daughter's birth, on May 24, 2018.
If you don't believe me, here are my receipts:
Specimen A: Kylie is wearing the 'S' necklace she bought after Stormi's birth, except she's just... tucked the 'S' in.
This is a photo from July, 2018, of Kylie wearing the necklace.
This is footage from the episode, where she's wearing the same necklace.
Specimen B: Kylie's ever-evolving nails match the ones she showcased on Snapchat on May 24.
THEN, in case you were still holding onto the belief that the whole show wasn't a lie, we're shown Khloé going on Ellen, very happy to finally be able to share her pregnancy news with her sister's blessing.
This footage, however, and Khloé's Ellen appearance, were filmed in January 2018, FOUR MONTHS BEFORE HER CONVERSATION WITH KYLIE.
Did they simply recreate the conversation in May because of... technical difficulties?
Or is it... all... made up?
Are brilliant storylines like Khloé hiring a mime for Kris when she was feeling down, or Kris employing a scribe to record every single word she ever says, or Kim swapping her naughty puppy for Kourtney's well-behaved puppy, all a lie?
I don't think I'm ready for the answer to that question.