And who even cares?

Poor old Mrs Middleton. Tries to go out for a nice night at the movies with her hubby, leaving the kiddlets at home, and she gets shouted down for not wearing a bra with her frock.

*Epic eye roll*

Wills and Kate on the red carpet for James Bond: Spectre in London. Not pictured: Kate’s bra.

I guess the normal rules of social etiquette would generally apply if Mrs Middleton was just another frumpy English housewife, but alas — Mrs Middleton is the very young, very beautiful, very royal Duchess of Cambridge. So whilst we would never dare point out to a stranger that they weren’t wearing a bra at the movies, because Mrs M. is a Princess, it’s totally cool. Right?

Wrong.

Poor old Kate (adjectives not usually attributed to a glamorous princess) has found herself in the headlines today after sporting a stunning gown at the red carpet premiere of the latest James Bond instalment, Spectre. The powder blue chiffon Jenny Packham gown revealed a backless, halterneck slip underneath, and therefore by process of elimination and design, no bra.

In the midst of outrage in the UK and beyond, we’re here to deliver a bit of a reality check: HEY GUYS, GET A LIFE.

Click through the gallery below for the James Bond: Spectre premiere in London. (Post continues after gallery)

Kate and William

"Spectre" - CTBF Royal Film Performance 2015 - VIP Arrivals

The Duchess of Cambridge

"Spectre" - CTBF Royal Film Performance 2015 - VIP Arrivals

Lea Seydoux, Daniel Craig and Monica Bellucci

"Spectre" - CTBF Royal Film Performance 2015 - VIP Arrivals

Daniel Craig

Natalie Imbruglia

Dame Shirley Bassey

Sam Smith

Daniel Craig and wife Rachel Weisz

Reason #1 Why We Don’t Care About Mrs Middleton’s Bra.

If you can go without, you bloody well should. Large breasts are a jiggly joy, but a flat chest means freedom. If we had manageable boobs and a neat little figure like Kate, we would be leaving our bra behind too. GOOD ON YA, LOVE.

Reason #2 Why We Don’t Care About Mrs Middleton’s Bra.

The dress is practically Amish, people: it stretches from ankle to neck, wrist to shoulder, and has a higher neckline than my Catholic high school’s uniform. Stop trying to make it a super sexy outrage. It’s just not.

Reason #3 Why We Don’t Care About Mrs Middleton’s Bra.

Have you even seen what some of the other stars were wearing at the Spectre premiere? Um, you could drive a truck through Storm Uechtritz’s plunging neckline (defs no bra on there), whilst Darcey Bussell was gussied up in more leather than you could poke a S+M whip at.

Reason #4 Why We Don’t Care About Mrs Middleton’s Bra.

You are all looking at the wrong thing here — forget her nipples, can somebody please take a look at those jewels? Those earrings… that belt… that RING… look away from the headlights, perverts, and you might just glimpse the true star of the show. THE JEW-ELLSSSS.

Reason #5 Why We Don’t Care About Mrs Middleton’s Bra.

How is it that Kylie Jenner can quite literally wear 3.5 layers of sheer pantyhose fashioned into various shapes as an outfit, and Kate Middleton can wear an American Bible Belt approved frock and STILL be accused of being a racy lady? Seriously guys. We have legitimately seen Paris Hilton’s labia as she got out of a car once, and we’re worried about the lack of bra strap?

To finish, I would like you to take a quick moment to think about the bra you’re currently wearing. Chances are it’s a wide strapped cotton number that’s been through the dryer one too many times and is pilling slightly in the nipple area.

Are you thinking about it?

Ok, now tell me something: is it paparazzi ready? Are you ready for it to be judged by millions of people around the world with their smarmy comments and pointy little fingers? No? Then shut up.

Kate wins.