I moved to Australia 13 months ago, and there were a few things I realised very quickly: It’s bloody hot, if I pronounce ‘deck’ in my Kiwi accent everyone laughs at me, and Bunnings’ sausage sizzles are a big deal.
So, when Bunnings announced a new health and safety plan yesterday the country collectively lost its mind.
Volunteers who cook up sausages for various community causes will now have to – wait for it – put the fried onion on the bottom.
Yep. Onion is no longer allowed to be placed on top of the sausage.
Bunnings revealed the new rule yesterday, saying pieces of falling onion can become a “slipping hazard”.
“Safety is always our number one priority and we recently introduced a suggestion that onion be placed underneath sausages to help prevent the onion from falling out and creating a slipping hazard,” Bunnings chief operating officer Debbie Poole said.
“This recommendation is provided to the community groups within their fundraising sausage sizzle welcome pack and is on display within the gazebos when barbecues are underway.”
That seems fair enough, because 1) if there is someone out there who has slipped on onion, that is very unfortunate and painful, and 2) how does this tweak really change anything about the taste of the meaty treat?
But discussing the change on Wednesday morning's Today show, Karl Stefanovic made it known that he thought this was simply health and safety "gone mad".
He said putting the onion under the sausage was un-Australian.
"This will ruin Australia," he claimed, totally rationally. "Australia will not make it through today if this happened."
"Bunnings, you’ve done a lot of things right. But, I’m sorry, you’ve got this one wrong. You don’t mess with perfection."