LEAKED: The 38 brutal rules you need to follow if you want to be a model for Kanye West.

On ThursYe, formerly Thursday, Kanye West debuted his highly anticipated Yeezy 3 collection in a fashion show at New York’s Madison Square Garden.

It was a star-studded affair, the Kardashian-Jenner clan turned out in full force, wearing fully co-ordinated ensembles and West played his new album. In full.

It was all pretty full on.

In spite of Kanye’s usually light-hearted attitude to his endeavours (*cough*), it seems he was taking things pretty seriously for a change.

Here’s the list of easy-to-follow instructions he had for his team of very model-y models.

Yes, that is 38 different rules. Shall we take a look through them?

1. Quiet Please

2. No Whisper

3. No Smile

4. No Dancing

5. No Sing. Unless Instructed

6. No Eye Contact

7. No Acting

8. No Fast Movements

9. No Slow Movements

10. No Sharp Moves

11. Natural Movement

12. Show Pride

13. Hold Your Position

14. Stay In Character

15. Alternate between attention and ease

16. No sitting down all at the same time

17. Do not make the same movements at the same time

18. If you want to move you can shift your weight

19. If you are tired, sit down or lye (sic) down.

20. Concentrate, focus

21. Do not look at camera

22. Hold positions until the end of the show

23. Do not take off your clothes or your shoes

24. Loosen up, no stiffness

25. Do not be casual

26. Stand straight

27. No sexy posing

28. Do not act cool

29.  You are a picture

30. Be calm. Be strong. Be neutral

31. Behave as if no one was in the room

32. Do not break the rules

33. Know that your actions reflect within the group

34. Your behaviour affects the conduct of others

35. Be aware of others and be precautios (sic)

36. Before the end of the performance get up and stand up straight

37. Keep your assigned position on the floor

38. Do not ever look at the jumbotron

Basically, don’t make any noise, I mean, unless you are told to make a noise.

Definitely don’t dance or move fast, but also don’t move too slowly or sharply or at the same time as the person next to you.

Show your pride. Act natural. Not too stiff. NOT TOO CASUAL YOU IDIOT.

Are you standing up straight? Don’t act too cool, man.

My tip? Pretend you are the only one in the room, while being hyper-aware that your actions will inevitably effect everyone around you.

Also, don’t forget thousands of people are watching you, YOU, but don’t look at them. Eye contact? No way.

Look , I know it’s a lot, but whatever you do, DO NOT LOOK AT THE JUMBOTRON.


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