On ThursYe, formerly Thursday, Kanye West debuted his highly anticipated Yeezy 3 collection in a fashion show at New York’s Madison Square Garden.
It was a star-studded affair, the Kardashian-Jenner clan turned out in full force, wearing fully co-ordinated ensembles and West played his new album. In full.
It was all pretty full on.
In spite of Kanye’s usually light-hearted attitude to his endeavours (*cough*), it seems he was taking things pretty seriously for a change.
Here’s the list of easy-to-follow instructions he had for his team of very model-y models.
Yes, that is 38 different rules. Shall we take a look through them?
1. Quiet Please
2. No Whisper
3. No Smile
4. No Dancing
5. No Sing. Unless Instructed
6. No Eye Contact
7. No Acting
8. No Fast Movements
9. No Slow Movements
10. No Sharp Moves
11. Natural Movement
12. Show Pride
13. Hold Your Position
14. Stay In Character
15. Alternate between attention and ease
16. No sitting down all at the same time
17. Do not make the same movements at the same time
18. If you want to move you can shift your weight
19. If you are tired, sit down or lye (sic) down.
20. Concentrate, focus
21. Do not look at camera
22. Hold positions until the end of the show
23. Do not take off your clothes or your shoes
24. Loosen up, no stiffness
25. Do not be casual
26. Stand straight
27. No sexy posing
28. Do not act cool
29. You are a picture
30. Be calm. Be strong. Be neutral
31. Behave as if no one was in the room
32. Do not break the rules
33. Know that your actions reflect within the group
34. Your behaviour affects the conduct of others
35. Be aware of others and be precautios (sic)
36. Before the end of the performance get up and stand up straight
37. Keep your assigned position on the floor
38. Do not ever look at the jumbotron
Basically, don’t make any noise, I mean, unless you are told to make a noise.
Definitely don’t dance or move fast, but also don’t move too slowly or sharply or at the same time as the person next to you.
Show your pride. Act natural. Not too stiff. NOT TOO CASUAL YOU IDIOT.
Are you standing up straight? Don’t act too cool, man.
My tip? Pretend you are the only one in the room, while being hyper-aware that your actions will inevitably effect everyone around you.
Also, don’t forget thousands of people are watching you, YOU, but don’t look at them. Eye contact? No way.
Look , I know it’s a lot, but whatever you do, DO NOT LOOK AT THE JUMBOTRON.