Taylor Swift "had two seconds to be cool and she f***ed it up!" Kanye tells crowd.

Ima let Kanye speak for himself (doesn’t he always?), but first I just want to thank him for the constant stream of delusional statements, leather jogging pants and other ill-fated fashion ideas, and batshit tweets he puts out into the world that make my job so simple.

Now, onto Yeezy’s latest accomplishment in the field of being a damn fool.

He appeared at Los Angeles nightclub 1OAK to play his new album The Life of Pablo. After he played the song Famous to the crowd (you know, the one that includes claims that he “made that bitch famous” and that he thinks he and Swift “might still have sex”), he claimed Swift had told him she thought it was jim-dandy.

“I called Taylor. I played her Famous. I told her, look, I said, ‘Taylor, I talked to my wife about it’. And I said, ‘How you feel about this line?’ I was like, Taylor, ‘I think you and me still might have sex.’

“She said, ‘Oh, Kanye, I like that line.’ Then she won [album of the year at the Grammys] and went and said something completely different!” he yelled.

Then came his way harshest condemnation.

“She not cool no more!” he screamed about Swift. “She had two seconds to be cool and she fucked it up! Make her stop trying to make up stories!”

Make her stop, LA nightclub crowd. Make her stop!

Watch Yeezy’s nightclub tirade here… Post continues after video.

Video via CBS

Swift, who, let’s face it, is the more reliable of these two witnesses, has denied ever receiving a phone call from Kanye West to discuss his fairly insulting lyrics.

At the Grammys, she doubled down in her speech, appearing to allude to West when she accepted her second Album of the Year award. “There are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame,” she said.

Taylor: 1 million Kanye: zero.

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