Forget Justin Bieber, photos of his security guard have emerged and HOLY SMOKES.

In celebration of it being A) Friday, B) the eve of a long weekend, and C) Friday… let’s all look at a photo of Justin Bieber’s hot security guard.

After all, there’s nothing like a lil’ bitta reverse objectification to round off the week, now is there?

I should preface this post by admitting that I don’t find The Biebs – with his pouty lips and patchwork sticker tatts – overly attractive. He’s just not my type and every time I see his face I imagine him dancing with Ludacris in a bowling alley. (I’m sure he will survive this brutal blow to his self-esteem, considering he exclusively dates Victoria’s Secret models and has 88.2 million followers on Instagram jumping up and down for the chance to touch his *special place*.)

A 23-year-old non-model non-superfan from Australia is hardly his type, anyway. I’m sure the un-attraction is mutual.

So while I’m not fawning over Justin and his very, very baggy jeans, I am all about his security guard, who unsurprisingly sent Twitter into a right tizzy this week.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Boy Roeles, who is from the Netherlands and has a name that just made my ovaries do a little dance.

I know. I know. 


It appears the blessed genetics of Robert Pattinson and Harry Styles merged together to create an exquisite jawline and floppy hair.

For those of us worried they just fell in love with a teenager, don’t worry, he’s 18. Which, okay yes, means you totally just fell in love with a teenager, but at least he’s a teenager who is, you know, legal.

If my boyfriend is reading this, then hello. I still love you, I promise.

… How does a trip to northwestern Europe sound?