If there’s anything more awkward than marrying a complete stranger on national television, it’s going on a honeymoon with someone you’ve known for 24 hours. And last night, we watched as the four couples from Married at First Sight did just that.
But as fascinating as all the couple dynamics are, it’s the tense relationship between Clare and Jono that has everyone talking. Ever since Jono laid eyes on his bride and murmured “oh s**t” under his breath (and not in a good way) we knew he probably wasn’t the gentleman bubbly Clare deserves. When he said, “she’s not what I ordered” in a cutaway interview, it became obvious that, quite frankly, he’s a bit of a wanker.
And these assumptions were confirmed last night, when he threw a full-blown tantrum in response to a situation he didn't feel comfortable in.
Clare and Jono were sent to the Northern Territory for their honeymoon, for a few days of fun outdoor activities. It started off well. They seemed to be getting along, even singing daggy songs together in the outback.
— MarriedAtFirstSight (@MarriedAU) April 11, 2016
But the fun promptly stopped when the two were put in a kayak together, in crocodile-infested waters. Honestly, I think sitting in a creek full of crocodiles is significantly less anxiety-provoking than marrying a complete stranger, but whatever. Each to their own.
As the couple enter the kayak, Jono slowly starts to express his discomfort with the activity. Well, discomfort is a euphemism. He's terrified. So terrified that he starts to get angry.
"I don't want to be out here WHEN THERE'S CROCODILES AT THE BOTTOM OF ME!" he yells. And, as anyone would, Clare assumes he's joking. Or at least half joking. So she starts making crocodile-jokes.
Crocodile-jokes aren't popular at the best of times, but they really start to frustrate Jono.
Watch the cringe-worthy scene here. Post continues after video.She splashes water on him and jokes that it's a crocodile. She tells the camera, "I see fears as a thing to be conquered. Because I feel like I can be afraid of something or go out there and get over it."
When she tells him to "stop being a b**ch and enjoy it," he completely loses it. "I AM ENJOYING IT!" he exclaims.
Yeah, this isn't so funny anymore.
And like an actual infant child, Jono responds, "SAYS WHO?!"
Who would have thought that the guy who told the cameras on his wedding day that he had wanted a petite, quiet brunette, would have a problem being told what to do?!
While Jono tries to make up for the awkward situation later, claiming to have had the "best day ever", it's pretty obvious he's only trying to rectify the whole ordeal for the cameras.
Especially since Clare revealed to New Idea this week that Jono was flirting with his ex-girlfriend during the honeymoon.
Eugh. This guy is actually the worst.
In all seriousness, the 'expert decision' to match Clare and Jono seems highly unethical. While we don't technically know how their relationship will develop, it already appears that the couple were most probably (definitely) chosen for entertainment purposes, rather than for their potential to establish a meaningful connection. And for Clare, it must be a serious blow to hear yourself described as "not what I ordered", when you've put yourself out there on national television to find love.
The preview for tonight's episode doesn't look too promising either, with Clare in tears, while Jono says, "I don't really like being told what to do. I don't think I ever will."
WELL, JONO - WHY DID YOU GO ON A SHOW THAT TOLD YOU WHO TO MARRY?!
It's a question I don't think even Jono knows the answer to. But I'm looking forward to seeing how it all unfolds tonight, as the couples move in together, in what will inevitably be a complete and utter disaster.