This post deals with domestic violence and could be triggering for some readers.
The author of this story is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous for privacy reasons.
My ex broke into my iCloud on my son's iPad a few days ago.
He’s using private information he read to blackmail me into taking a lesser settlement.
He sent me a text message today saying, “you remind me of Amber Heard”.
Regardless of the fact Johnny Depp was found guilty of abuse, this is an out for every man who has abused their partner.
We are all liars now.
A man who has told me to kill myself regularly, choked and financially and emotionally abused me, likens himself to Johnny Depp.
Just another man wrought by the system.
It’s the noise I can’t handle.
How loud the whole process has been.
Two actors in court decimating one another.
As I sit here typing, I think about how much I’ve lost.
No one wins when it comes to domestic violence.
And in my experience, it’s not a deafening roar, it’s a whisper followed by silence.
You keep your mouth shut to avoid judgment and opinions.
To avoid being labelled a liar.
This trial has made a mockery of it.
I’m a shell of who I used to be.
My boys tell me they hate me often, and the words from my ex don’t stop.
Telling me to kill myself. How disgusting I am.
And I stay silent.
Because every time I open my mouth, I lose more.
I’ve damaged relationships with people I love, I’ve lost friends, and I’m more alone than I was living in a house where I was berated daily.
Could I have been stronger?
Could I have left sooner, before it became dangerously toxic?