Meet Baron John Sewel.
He’s a Lord, member of British parliament, PHD academic, husband, father, and straight up PaRtY Boi. Lord Sewel snorts coke, wears pink bras, parties with hookers, and has made our dodgy parliamentarians looks like positive angels in the whole process.
Home on the ranch, busy Bronwyn Bishop has been stealing coins from the purse to take her little chopper for a spin, and we’re not happy. “You think THAT’S bad?” our UK friends from across the pond sniggered. “Wait until you meet Lord Sewel.”
Little Lord Sewel is an official servant to the Queen, and King of the party too, it would seem. Earlier in the week an explosive video surfaced of our mate John snorting cocaine in a wild romp with a rather expensive prostitute. Highlights from the video include Johnny boy donning a hot pink bra, snorting off one of the prostitute’s breasts, outlining his government expenses, calling Asian women “whores”, and turning a photo of his wife upside down. Nice, mate, nice.
Proving that you can never judge a book by its cover, Lord Sewel’s vital stats tell a very different story to his recent rampage.
- He’s the head of the Privileges and Conduct Committee for the House of Lords (LOL, LOL, LOL).
- He has a PHD in Anthropology from Aberdeen University.
- …and was the senior Vice Principal and Dean of Social Sciences and Law.
- He served at the Scotland Minister for Tony Blair’s government, and even has a law named after him, the Sewel Motion.
- He’s married, with two children.
- He lives in a lovely little townhouse right near parliament. With flowerboxes. And fluffy purple pillows.
So anyway, the video came out, and rather than apologise in a flurry of “I surrender! I quit! I know pink isn’t my colour!”, Little Lord Sewel has instead chosen to not give a single f*ck. He’s resigned from his role, but is otherwise chillaxing until the dust settles (read: enquiry is over, and he is acquitted), and is generally unapologetic for his behaviour. Interestingly, John Sewel couldn’t actually be fired from his role as a Life Peer in the House of Lords, because ~politics~
Watch the video in its entirety below. (Post continues after video)
The English have always been pretty good at beating us in the “Oh, You Think That’s Bad?” game. We got bad manners, they got bad teeth. We got Vegemite, they got Marmite. We got Tasmania, they got the Falkland Islands.
So, the next time one of our esteemed members of Parliament lodges a shonky receipt for a ‘work dinner’, or catches a submarine because the bus was late, let us think of poor Mother England whose parliament is probably out smoking a bong as we speak.
What do you think about Lord Sewel’s behaviour?
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