fashion

"I have found the world's best undies, and they are enormous (and wonderful)."

I am, and always have been, furious at hipster underwear.

You know the ones. I’m not pointing any fingers, but I’m talking about the bright and colourful little numbers that cost close to $20 each, and have elbowed out all the competition.

Who exactly do they fit? They are always a little too tight, or too wide, or so large and cottony that I feel like a Catholic schoolgirl in the ’50s. And they are EXPENSIVE. I mean, this is essentially a small wad of material that’s snuggling my ass, people. Unless it’s Agent Provocateur, I ain’t buying the price tag.

Alas, as a woman without the courage to go sans lingerie, I have had to accept my fate picking out a wedgie from the dopey, colourful, hipster, cotton underwear on offer. Until now.

Behold, ladies: the world’s most comfortable underwear.

This is the Jockey ‘Promise’ hi-cut brief, with no panty line.

OK, so a few things to clear up:

  1. No, I am not being paid to write this post. This is just a heartfelt proclamation from a convert.
  2. Yes, they are friggin' enormous. That's the best part.
  3. No, I am not going to model the underwear. Let's leave that to the experts.

I was introduced to these slinky beauties by my dear friend and stylist extraordinaire, Sophie Barker. ALWAYS ahead of the sartorial curve, living with Soph introduced me to culottes, sparkly nail polish, mules (I battled her on that one), and overalls.

But the high-waisted Jockey knickers are by far the best thing she's blessed me with.

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The first thing you should know is that the Jockey Promise knickers cost $17.95 each.

Expensive? No. These babies will outlast even your sturdiest Bonds boyleg, and the light and silky material won't tear, stain, shrink, fade, or generally look like a cat's breakfast after a month or two in the tumble dryer.

In fact, they get better with age. Softer. Silkier.

The second thing you should know about the Jockey Promise underwear is that you can buy them ANYWHERE.

Anywhere includes:

  • Big W
  • Target
  • Kmart
  • Bonds Outlets
  • Myer
  • Harris Scarfe

And I'll put good money on the fact that one day in the future, even your local 7/11 will be flogging these bad boys.

Wearing them makes me feel like a sassy Parisian lady, slipping on a day dress on in the light of my French doors as I sip on an espresso...

OK, yeah, I get it. It's a bit much. But these undies are awesome.

Farewell muffin tops and prints suitable for five years and under. Get ready to feel like a slinky, sexy woman with a penchant for great big knickers.

Eat your heart out, Bridget Jones.

Tags: fashion , jockey , style , underwear
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