Miscarriage is a possible outcome of every pregnancy, but it’s not something we as a society are comfortable talking about.
Author Jessica Rudd, 31, miscarried two weeks after she discovered, to her joy, that she was pregnant with her second child.
Jessica Rudd. Image: supplied.
The daughter of former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd was devastated and filled with the same guilt and anxiety that every woman feels when she miscarries.
Jessica Rudd and her gorgeous daughter... Post continues after gallery
"Is it because of that New Year’s champagne I had before I found out I was pregnant? Is it because I walked the dog on a hot day? Is it because I lifted my toddler out of the car? Or when I bumped into the kitchen bench?" Rudd wrote in the Australian Women's Weekly of her thought process after losing the baby.
Jessica Rudd and family. Image: supplied.
And because we're so uncomfortable, and so ill-equipped to deal with miscarriage, if you do dare to make other people feel uncomfortable and divulge the information, they just don't know what to say.
"Some say, 'it wasn’t meant to be,' which is strange, because you’d never say that about any other dead being. 'Oh, your partner died. Sorry. I guess it wasn’t meant to be,'" Rudd writes.
The grief of expectant parents who lose their baby before it comes to term never leaves them - nor does the knowledge that miscarriage is a possible outcome of every pregnancy.
"The thing about miscarriage is that it steals the joy of pregnancy and replaces it with terror," Rudd writes.
Mia opens up about her miscarriage. Post continues below...
Rudd is now pregnant again, and the baby is healthy and developing normally. But despite this, she is terrified of losing the baby.
"There is no such thing as a replacement child," she writes. "For so many parents, this quiet grief for a child unknown — for a life unlived — remains."
Read Jessica Rudd's column here.
More on coping with miscarriage?