Recently my friend turned to me and asked rather curiously, “Do you own jeans? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in jeans.”
The answer was no. I don’t wear jeans. I haven’t worn them since my very early twenties. I gave them up around the same time I gave up orange foundation and dating men that used milk crates as shelves.
Basically, jeans do not bring me joy. I can admire a pair of jeans on another person but I don’t associate jeans with good memories or, to be honest, comfort.
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Firstly, jeans remind me of trailing around shopping centres as a self-conscious teenager and crying when I couldn’t find anything in my size. I desperately wanted to wear low rider jeans like Hilary Duff and The Veronicas, but I could rarely find any that would fit me.
I look back now and I’m partly grateful to have missed that fashion mistake, but my heart also aches for that little girl who just wanted to feel cool at the school disco.
Secondly, I don’t find jeans comfortable. I know some people swear they love their jeans - I even have a friend who said she could fall asleep in her jeans - but I just find they nip, pinch and suck me in. I don’t like the feeling; it feels constricting.
I have no idea how people wear jeans to work and then sit in office chairs all day with the zipper and buttons digging into your precious flesh, but I understand this may be a “me” thing. Perhaps it's my body type, but I’ve never just thrown on a pair of jeans and felt great.
This is compounded by the fact I find it hard to find jeans that fit me. My waist is small but my thighs are full and I usually can't get them up my legs, and if I can, then they tend to gape at the waist. If we add that I don’t always fit into straight sizing, it just always feels like too big of a task. I think buying clothes should be fun, not a mission.
Thirdly, I hate what jeans can represent. They have become something so many women torture themselves with. They are an unforgiving item of clothing that will no longer fit you the moment your body changes in any way. So many women keep jeans that no longer fit them in their closets and spend their lives feeling upset about it. The reason why they don’t fit anymore doesn’t seem to matter.