For the sake of clarity, this article is written from a mum who hopes to one day have a daughter. While this is the more common dynamic (a family with 2+ boys hoping for a girl), there are also many families who desire a boy after multiple girls. Their desire is equally real, and equally important. This article applies to both.
I love my two boys.
They are my reason for being here. I would not for one second have preferred them to be girls. Let me be clear about that.
But… I have always imagined having a daughter AS WELL. I see her chasing her brothers around the backyard, arguing over the middle seat in the car, and causing just as much love and heartache as her brothers in our house.
It isn’t about pink and Barbies (good luck to her getting my oldest son to share them!). It is about her. I can’t imagine a life without her, and frankly I don’t want to. I want my boys to grow up with a sister; to learn from the very beginning that a woman can be your best friend and that she deserves love and respect. I want my daughter to learn how a boy should treat her, with dignity and kindness and an expectation that she can do anything.
I want to see my husband hold his daughter in his arms and know that there is now another female in the world that he will love and protect even more than he does me… and that’s ok. Because I remember how I felt when I first held our boys. And of course, I want my daughter for me. I already know I am a great mum to my boys. I see that every day. And I know I would be a great mother to a daughter as well.
There are many people out there who are against the idea of gender selection. But what I am asking for today is those people to stop for a moment; to stop thinking of their own personal circumstances and to stop thinking of the friend who is struggling to conceive, or the aunty who was happy with her four boys.
Try to see these facts for exactly what they are… actual facts.
There are the most common things people say as reasons why you shouldn’t choose the gender of your child. Obviously, if you have your heart set against sex selection, this isn’t going to change your mind. But hopefully it will change your actions.
1) “You are so ungrateful. You should be happy with what you have!”
These parents are not evil. They are not ungrateful. Believe it or not, these parents are incredibly grateful for their children they have already been blessed with. They bring them an immeasurable amount of happiness and these parents thank their lucky stars every day for being able to parent their children. But this isn’t about them. This is about a longing that the family have had, sometimes all of their life, to parent BOTH sexes.