Last weekend, I treated myself to pancakes.
It had been a gruelling week, a week that only a very high stack of homemade pancakes could remedy. I’m not talking about any, “how to cook pancakes without butter, eggs and milk” kind of nonsense preparation, I’m talking about premeditated pancake cookery.
The pancakes were poured, flipped and crisped. And then it happened.
An imposter sugar syrup had invaded my pantry. It was FAKE maple syrup bought by my soon-to-be-dumped fiancé.
I can only imagine that this harrowing experience was gifted to me as a way to spread the word – the word that sometimes in life, there are just a few things that we absolutely cannot skimp on.
With the help of Reddit, we’ve pulled together a comprehensive list of things that you absolutely must invest in. Because that’s what real maple syrup is – an investment in your future happiness.
“The level of clean you feel with an electric toothbrush is so satisfying. God damn.”
“As a guy I used to buy just the cheap low thread count sheets. One of my ex’s introduced me to high thread count sheets and I’ve never looked back. The really cheap stuff feels like you’ve wrapped yourself in sandpaper.”
“Towels. In particular face towels. HOLY MOLY they make the biggest difference. I used to wipe my face on the cheap stuff and it used to take ages to dry my face. Now I use this awesome luxurious feeling one and it’s like wiping my face on a cloud.”
“Not necessarily super expensive pillows, but shelling out a little more money for some heavier firm ones that stay solid. Or soft fluffy ones if you’re into that.”
“No more white (or dyed yellow) sticks of tasteless antibiotic-laced butter for me! It’s gotta be that gorgeous yellow, creamy happy-pastured-cow stuff now.”
“Always bought the shitty tin of black pepper, loaded everything I ate with it. Then my store switched to some stuff that didn’t come out very easily or evenly, so I bought some “restaurant style” black pepper. My first whiff of that was like heaven.”
“Sandwiches taste so much better on good bread.”
“Sandwiches are a very important meal of the day. Bread is a very important ingredient. Stop cheapin’ out on the good stuff. It’ll change you.”
“I once bought a wedge of aged provolone for $21. Even the cashier said “Did you see how much this costs?” to which I responded: ‘Yep.’
Went home and had the best cheese and crackers of my life.”
9. Ice cream.
“You should only buy it to treat yourself either way, might as well spend $12 on Ben & Jerry’s Half-Baked instead of $5 on some generic “chocolate” bullshit.”
“Beef. Steak, ground beef, all of that. I used to buy cheap meat to save money. It’s so worth the extra cash to get some delicious beef.”
“If you have the money for the initial investment, buying beef in bulk is the way to go. Got half a cow of organic, hormone free excellent beef for less per pound than any cheap grocery store beef.”
“You can spend $80 on a set of cheap pans or $80 on one pan. The difference is the cheap pans will cook unevenly, take longer, and get damaged far easier. The $80 pan will still be serving you well a decade later and cook quickly and evenly.”
12. Kitchen knives.
“You don’t need a block full. You’re better off with a good chef’s knife, pairing knife and breadknife than a block full of cheap shit.”
“Holy shit cutting a tomato isn’t supposed to be hard. Choose the right knife and spend a little more.”
“Actual polarized sunglasses. The cheap ones just have a film that is sprayed on and gets scratched/wiped off very quickly.”
“Shitty scissors will bring nothing but pain and frustration. I’ve got a pair that feel like a Ferrari when it slices through paper. I couldn’t be happier.”
“Cheap ones need to be constantly replaced in my experience. It’s better just to buy the more expensive ones and not have to replace them every few weeks.”
16. Toilet paper.
“Single-ply has literally no usefulness in any application.”
“Toilet paper. The day I moved out of my mum’s house I bought the nice, expensive stuff with aloe and never looked back. Heck, if I am visiting for a week, I bring a roll. I am not dealing with that single ply stuff ever again.”
In parting, let us leave you with the wise words of Reddit user LostSoul1797: “If it goes between you and the ground, spend a few bucks more. Mattresses, shoes, boots, and tires should not be skimped on”.
And don’t forget the importance of real maple syrup.
Are you suddenly craving maple syrup too? Beware the video below will give you serious FOMO.
Do you have anything to add to this list?
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