In case your TV exploded this week, The Handmaid’s Tale is the show literally everyone is watching right now.
A blood curdling adaption of the 1985 Margaret Atwood novel telling the story of a dystopian society where all women’s rights have been stripped away, Mamamia Entertainment Editor, Laura Brodnik has named it ‘the most important show of 2017’.
But the thing is, I can’t bring myself to watch it for a reason that’s out of my control.
One by one, my colleagues recount how ‘they can’t sleep because of it’ and how watching more than a couple episodes in a row is ‘just too depressing and soul destroying’. All while I nod along in complete ignorance.
Not because I don’t want to watch it. And not because I think a show depicting vile, dehumanising acts against women – ones that aren’t entirely unimaginable – isn’t important viewing.
The truth is, I’m scared.
Even in full daylight with all the doors locked, there’s literally no way I could watch something so terrifying.
The Handmaid's Tale isn't the first groundbreaking show I've had to miss out on because of it.
Stranger Things. Black Mirror. The Fall. True Detective. The Walking Dead. The Bridge. Twin Peaks... the list goes on and on.
For context, I'm the kind of person who watches Riverdale with their eyes half closed.
I've mastered the perfect protection technique for getting through the blood and gore of Game of Thrones - thumbs in ears and fingers interlaced over eyes.
I'm that person writhing and jumping out of their seat at the movies on account of there being LOUD NOISES I wasn't aware were coming. And anything labelled 'suspenseful' or 'thriller' is just asking for a week's worth of nightmares.
LISTEN: Guys, we NEED to talk about The Handmaid's Tale (post continues after audio...)
Just last weekend, I clutched my pillow as a knife-wielding stalker accosted Rayna James in an episode of Nashville season five. Yes, NASHVILLE. The show about country music.
And the only way I made it through 13 Reasons Why in one piece was because I watched just one episode a night. With my housemates. With all the lights on.
Unless I've got someone warm and dependable to hold onto, there's just no way I could get through five minutes, let alone a whole horrifying episode of The Handmaid's Tale. It's just not a thing I can do.
But is my irrational fear of sudden noises and intolerance for anticipation holding me back from a world of incredible, thought provoking, important TV?
Shows like The Handmaid's Tale are sparking relevant discussions about society, humanity, mortality and feminism. Discussions I desperately want to be a part of, but can't.
So should I just grow up and grit my teeth?
Or, when there are horrible things happening in the world everyday, is it OK to just consume the fluffy stuff?
For now - the former option is just too much to bear.
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Have you watched The Handmaid's Tale? What do you think?