It turns out there's a psychological justification for one of your most toxic behaviours and yes I'm listening please do go on.
It's called Revenge Bedtime Procrastination and you better believe I came across it while scrolling through Instagram in the middle of the night even though my eyes were stinging and I'd said "I'm tired" 14 times throughout the day.
Let me set the scene. I'm laying in bed, absorbing blue light through my eyeballs, upsetting my body's Circadian rhythm when I see that presenter, DJ and podcaster Flex Mami had shared a Tik Tok.
This Tik Toker (???) said: "Fun fact, did you guys know that there's this thing called Revenge Bedtime Procrastination where people will refuse to sleep because they don't have much control over their daytime life, so they will sleep very late at night even if they're super tired because they just don't want that free time to end at night and they don't want tomorrow to start."
UM YES I KNEW THIS WAS A THING BECAUSE I'VE DONE IT EVERY NIGHT OF MY WHOLE LIFE I just didn't know it had a name and I could blame the external world for my weird AF behaviour??
What I had long been calling 'self sabotage' is actually called 'Revenge Bedtime Procrastination' or alternatively, 'Retaliatory Staying Up Late'.