My life follows a pretty familiar pattern:
- Hear/see rave reviews about makeup product all over social media.
- Wholeheartedly ignore aforementioned reviews. Develop conspiracy theory that all are actually just ads disguised as reviews. Pat self on my clever little back. Clutch onto both my precious dubloons and deep-seated cynicism.
- *Months pass, cynicism and smugness wane as I see everyone around me looking suspiciously… better… than usual*
- See said product in shop. Buy in moment of weakness (also known as: “Pay Day”).
- Realise said product is the best thing to exist since Zoe Foster Blake’s Face Hero.
- Slap self in face. Promise to never be such an arrogant dummy ever again.
This is precisely what happened with the little monster that is ‘setting spray’. Sneaky little bugger. I’ve seen a bunch of YouTubers discuss the stuff for, I don’t know, years? I think the term they mostly use to describe it is “absolute must have”.
And yet, every single time, I’d look at them dousing their pretty faces in transparent liquid and think, “PFFFFFFT what total bullshit.”
Mostly because setting sprays aren’t exactly budget friendly (the ones beauty gurus tend to spruik aren’t anyway). But also because, after an endless barrage of messaging that I ABSOLUTELY need to buy some setting spray, I still had ABSOLUTELY no idea what it does.
“It just… like… brings the look together,” Beauty Guru A would hum to me through the screen. “It… sets… it all in place.”
Sorry, wah?! Isn’t that the precise reason I bought that pricey setting powder? The very same setting powder Beauty Guru A told me I needed last month? Why the hell do I need to set my setting powder? Isn’t that the whole fu-jucking purpose of setting powder?
This “setting spray” movement made me a frustrated ball of confusion, which tends to happen whenever fancy makeup words are thrust in my direction. I care little for things like “contouring” and “strobing”. Hell, putting on eyeshadow is a stretch for me. I just want my makeup to be simple – I just want to know what the eff works and what doesn’t.
Well, reader friends. I can tell you this much: Setting spray works in that it provides a fine mist of glorious angel wings right across your face. And if you’re of the ‘makeup fanatic’ persuasion (reading to this point of the article suggests you are), I suggest you buy some. ESPECIALLY now that we’re heading into summer.