dating

14 women share the secrets they are keeping from their partners.

Last week I caught my dad sweeping the dirt on our kitchen floor into the corner vent, in what is the height of laziness. Apparently he’s been doing it for years and no, mum does not know.

And if there is one thing I know for sure, it is that telling white lies to partners is a skill not unique to my father.

Many of us tell innocuous lies to our significant others, in an attempt to avoid awkwardness/petty fights/just because.

Below, 14 women share some of the lies they have told their partners and exes. (There are more than 14 lies below, because some women have many fibs to tell.)

Behold…

Clare, 39: “Pretend that I ate the lunch that he packed when really I let it fester and treated myself to the exact same thing at the sandwich shop across the road.”

Xing, 21: “Jumped ahead of a TV show we were watching and reacting like I’d see it for the first time when I rewatch it.”

Josie, 46: “My ex made me a calendar that had photos of us on all the months. I used to put it in the drawer at all times he wasn’t there. We were long distance at the time so it’d literally be in the drawer for like 10 weeks. Then hung up when he got there.”

Lina, 25: “My ex bought me a Tiffany ring and I lost it and then I bought a cheap knock off and just wore that instead because I felt SO guilty.”

Angelica, 50: “I always buy something and then when my partner asks how much it was, I subtract like 20% off what I actually paid.”

Aalia, 20: “I order a huge Maccas meal for lunch on my day off and when he asks what I had I say leftovers from freezer.”

Jess, 29: “I once told my boyfriend I made his bed, when the cleaner did it. And then he said ‘No you didn’t, it’s too well done.'”

Clarisse, 31: “One time I told him I went to Pilates but I actually missed Pilates so just kinda…drove around.”

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Brigid, 30: “I have re-homed/killed several spiders. If I told him, he’d never sleep again. He does not like them. At all. Which is fine. But then I have to be all brave and heroic in secret.”

Janette, 30: “My boyfriend gifted me these really ugly earrings for Christmas. I don’t even know where they are. He gave them to me and I knew instantly I’d never wear them but I was like ‘Omg, they’re so beautiful!”

Lola, 35: “For the first eight years of our relationship I pretended to like his family/friends but now I’m just a mad b*tch.”

Aimee, 24: “My boyfriend got me a dress custom made in Vietnam and I hated it but I couldn’t fake enough enthusiasm to lie. I also got pissed off because he was like ‘oh I got a girl on the trip to try it on for size’ and I was like ‘what’s her name’.”

Clarisse, 31: “I used to lie about snacking but now he’s like ‘hey didn’t we have a whole packet of mint slice’ and I’m like I ATE THEM.”

Aalia, 20: “If I had a day off I would sit in the same spot on the couch watching TV for hours then get up as he walked in pretending to do anything so I didn’t look like a vegetable.”

Jess, 29: “When we were doing long distance, I’d lie about having gone out to do things. Like when you make plans to meet a new friend for coffee on a Tuesday and then cancel or say you’re going to a networking event or work drinks, but wuss out… but then I’d lie to him and say that I went so he didn’t worry about spending my weekends in bed.”

Fiona, 40: “I’ve told him I needed some of my own time after work to meditate. Meditate looking at my phone.”

Janette, 30: “I tell him my back hurts sometimes when it doesn’t just because I know he’ll offer to give me a massage.”

Chances are, you’ve had a baked beans partner in your life according to the Out Louders…

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