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I stayed attracted to him — and he completely lost it all for me. There’s nothing in the world worse than knowing you have a serious problem that everyone else in the world seems to not have. For instance, a sexless marriage.
I don’t mean infrequent sex or once a month sex; I mean no sex, no sex and more no sex.
In a society where the messages about sex are so off-base and over the top, where does the married person who just doesn’t get any fit in?
We’re constantly told that healthy marriages are all about sex — that sex is the keystone to longevity in a marriage. In a way, we receive endless messages conveying to us what we should be doing, how we are to do it, what we should expect, and that “if we play our cards right” we could be having happy-go-lucky sex until the day we die.
So for the poor schmucks like me who married and ended up completely neglected in the bedroom, we get to watch Dr. Phil-like talk shows about how abnormal we are.
As if being told we’re abnormal is somehow going to make things OK. As if by knowing we really have a serious problem, we are able to make it all better just by admitting it.
Unfortunately, knowing it and owning it doesn’t change anything. Knowing I was married to a man who absolutely didn’t want me sexually caused a torrent of conflict in me because the truth is, I loved my husband and he was my very good friend.
I only wanted my good friend to love me, and sex was one of those really nice things married people could share.