It’s an unspoken contract between parents and friends. Your children are adorable. The end.
But what if they’re not?
Andrew Daddo says it’s perfectly fine not to like someone else’s child. (Post continues after audio.)
A small fire erupted when a woman – she calls herself the Brown Trout, which should tell us a great deal – admitted loudly on a parenting forum recently that she no longer wanted to catch up with an old friend because her child was just too damn annoying.
“She wants what she wants immediately… she’ll scream and scream until she gets it. I think my friend should be dealing with her differently and not give in to her,” huffs Brown Trout. “I would rather not be around her. It’s rather hard on the ears. Can I tell my friend?”
We’ve all been there. Before you have children, one of your posse entering The Parenthood was like a tiny death. A treasured old mate is about to have a new favourite, and the chances are, that new member of your crew will have no manners, be intrusive and noisy and occasionally, downright rude. There goes brunch conversation. There goes getting to eat your own bacon. There goes gossiping about R-rated weekend antics without judgement.
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And then there are the friends on the other side. You are a parent and you still want to see your mates, but sometimes your small child is just a little shit. All you’re asking for is the benefit of the doubt.
Maybe Brown Trout caught her buddy on a bad day. Maybe Brown Trout’s mate is working on her daughter’s behavioural issues and could really do with support, not judgement, right now? Maybe we’re being a bit defensive here, because our kids can be really annoying, too…
The answer is NO. It is not. Not if you in any way hope to remain friends. Encourage adults-only evening catch-ups, avoid kids’ birthday parties, don’t even ask after little Chaos if you don’t want to. But never, ever suggest to your friend that her kid is annoying.
She already knows that. And she can see it all over your face. That eye-roll speaks louder than words.
You can listen to the full episode of The Glorious Mess below, where Holly and Andrew talk to midwife Fiona MacArthur, as well as hear Holly explaining why the world got so upset about Chrissy Teigan leaving the house nine days after she gave birth to a befuddled Daddo.