Introducing the C-string: a terrifying thing trying to make its way into your bottom.

Regular G-strings are modest compared to this.

Dear readers, may we suggest you direct your screen away from prying eyes, as we introduce you to… The C-string.

Here she is, in all of her skimpy beauty…


Don’t you hate it when your swimmers actually cover your backside? Or worse, when your front bum is hidden under too much material? This heinous fabulous new invention is perfect for all those times you are frustrated by how damn modest your stock standard G-strings are.

Apparently these little beauties are quite the rage in Europe (maybe). The can most often be found on the tanned, lithe bodies of exotic women across the Mediterranean. They even comes in a vast array of colours and styles.

But you can’t appreciate their true brilliance until you’ve seen then in action on an actual human. Watch as this woman shows you just how practical they are…

Video via Galileo

This pathetic excuse for a pair of togs more closely resemble something Alice in Wonderland would put in her hair.

Seriously. Tell me there is not a similarity here?

Headband or swimmers… you decide.

Apparently, the C-string stays on when you are swimming AND dancing. I would challenge the structural integrity of this product when worn at a surf-beach. Pools only, people.

The view from behind. Lovely.

Although it may come in handy for avoiding awkward undies lines when getting your next spray tan. We will make an exception for this use, and this use only.

We never thought we’d say this, but the C-string is worse than that time Bobby and Harry from The Only Way is Essex wore cock-socks.

Apparently these abominations are “half-tan pants.”

So, what do you think? Will you be rushing off to by a C-string?

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