beauty

'Just all the things I've been sucked into buying while late-night scrolling.'

I’m never more convinced of all the things I’m going to do to better myself than when I’m late-night scrolling.

It’s Friday night, the kids are (mostly) in bed, glass of wine in hand. It’s just the couch and me and the endless possibilities offered, nay, suggested to me via my socials. 

Now this post is in no way sponsored, although given the brands I’m about to mention, it bloody should be. 

No, it’s just one woman bravely disclosing all the ways she’s been sucked in via sponsored posts on social media. 

Watch: Shopping in a relationship vs shopping while single. Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia

1. Ecosa pillow, via @ecosa_sleep.

A couple of years ago I stuffed my neck. Really badly. I couldn’t turn my head. I couldn’t do a head check when driving. 

I must have discussed said neck issue within earshot of my phone, because next minute… “Pain in the neck? Your pillow could be the culprit.” Click. It’s one of those ugly-looking contour pillows, but it’s infused with antibacterial charcoal, there’s memory foam etc. etc.

It’s promising miracles. It’s offering a 100 night trial and free returns. It’s expensive, but not as expensive as all the chiro and physio I am forking out for. Add to cart.

ADVERTISEMENT

Reader, my neck was 80 per cent fixed the next morning and two years on, that neck problem is a distant memory. I am now the person who packs their pillow to go on holiday. 

2. Shakti mat, via @shaktimats.

The promises are really big on this one. The influencers are right on board. I think I was short a Christmas present for my dad and there was some kind of buy one get one free thing happening. 

ADVERTISEMENT

I think I may have thought that lying on a bed of spikes might make me more inclined to meditate. Click. 

Image: Supplied.

My dad has never once mentioned this mat. In hindsight, I don’t think he could lay on the floor and get back up again. 

My mat lives rolled in my wardrobe with my yoga props that I similarly do not use. Unsurprisingly, the Shakti mat is very uncomfortable and I noticed no perceivable benefit after my one try. If you’re a sadist, walking on it is actual murder. 

ADVERTISEMENT

3. Fazeek oil burner, via @fazeek_home.

I had real doubts about whether this glass oil burner would show up at all and I’m pleased to say it did and that it is just as attractive IRL as in the insta pics. 

It's sitting pretty on top of my fireplace but I have yet to burn any actual oils in it. It has been 13 months since delivery.

ADVERTISEMENT

4. The SWEAT App, via @sweat.

This was a lockdown desperate measure. What to do with no gym? Surely Kayla Itsines and Kelsey Wells have got me covered? God those before and after shots on Insta are incredible. This will definitely be me. 

Turns out it was most definitely not me, however it was a neat little app to prompt me to get my body moving while stuck inside our four walls for the majority of 2020. 

The exercises require little equipment and it’s fairly fast. You can also add your own music. 

ADVERTISEMENT

Sadly you cannot make your kids and husband leave you alone for 28 minutes. Even with Airpods in and an angry sweaty face, they will still want to know if you have made lunch or where the pink texta is. 

After a time this became really boring. Turns out the gym, yoga and pilates work for me because there is a real-life person telling me what to do - I can’t cheat by cutting sets or swapping out burpees and I’m in a physically different location to my beloved family. 

5. The Weekly Drop wine delivery, via @tw_drop.

I love a good wine, but I don’t know a whole lot about it and I’m not really interested in learning. 

I love it when someone else does all the work and matches a wine to my meal for me, or someone brings over their favourite bottle. Which is why this was really ideal for me over lockdown. I mean, obviously I was going to be drinking wine over lockdown – I had three primary school aged children “distance learning” at home. 

Reducing my need to leave the house, or make any actual choices, The Weekly Drop is a small business run by a sommelier who selects one red and one white wine for you every week for $50 plus postage. 

The wines are generally boutique ones you’ve never heard of, which makes it feel almost like you travelled, or at least discovered something new. 

They also plant trees for every box of wine purchased and use Shippit, who are carbon neutral, so your drinking habit is keeping a hospitality Covid casualty in a job and also saving the planet. 

ADVERTISEMENT

6. ZÓ personalised glasses, via @zo.personalised

Don’t you hate it when your sister constantly takes your glass because yours has more in it and she can’t remember where she put hers down? Wouldn’t it be cute to have your initials on your wine or cocktail glass? 

We experimented with a few different Friday night drinks over lockdown, because how else were you supposed to know it was Friday?! Thinking I could improve on our $1.49 IKEA Ivrig glasses, I added to cart a pair of ZÓ cocktail glasses with my initials and my husband’s initials.

ADVERTISEMENT

I’m pleased to confirm they arrived as pictured in some very clever packaging and definitely upped the ante on Zoom drinks, where my new glass was definitely the most exciting thing I had to talk about. 

Now we’re back to drinking with real people, I’d say the initials have reduced mistaken drink consumption by at least 70 per cent.

7.Cluey Learning program, via @clueylearning

These guys made out like bandits over the distance learning period (FY20 revenue was up 441%) when parents realised that a) they didn’t understand grade five maths, or b) they did understand but their child was completely uninterested in learning from them. 

I was one of these parents and I was very happy for Cluey to take my money and my child and do some sort of maths to assuage my guilt when I had very much given up on the distance learning.

8. Vitable vitamins, via @vitablevitamins

As I clicked ‘add to cart’, I was literally shaking my head at myself about what a sucker I am. But bear with me here. 

Vitable offers you a health quiz (God I love a quiz, especially about myself), which it then uses to recommend the vitamins you should be taking. 

They then package your vitamins into little compostable daily packets with your name printed on them. In a really cute font.

ADVERTISEMENT

I have no idea whether the vitamins are of decent quality or whether these are the best ones for me, but I do know that I have been taking them every day because it’s so easy. I also usually get mouth ulcers quite regularly and have not had a single one since I started these, which could be a fluke, or could be the vitamin B. 

The rather large downside of succumbing to Vitable is that my Insta feed is now flooded with vitamin ads and I pretty much need to burn my account down, wipe my device and start my whole online footprint from scratch.

I apologise in advance for all of the sponsored marketing that will likely fill your feed as a result of reading this article. 

ADVERTISEMENT

Enjoy your new pillow/oil burner/personalised cocktail glasses. Why don’t you go ahead and make me feel better about my late night purchase decisions and tell me what you’ve been sucked into in the comments below?

Psst! Here's what we've been shopping in the Mamamia office:

Feature Image: Instagram/Mamamia.

Like a $50 gift voucher for your thoughts? For your chance, take our quick survey .
MMSurvey